there are many different types of music in the world today.why do we need music?is the traditional musci of a country more important than the international music that is heard everywhere nowadays?

Music

Use synonyms

, one of

Remove the article

apply

show examples

great art,

Add a missing verb

is a

show examples

universal language, which is extremely bonded with humans for a long time without limiting to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

ethnicity,

country

Use synonyms

religion

Correct word choice

or religion

show examples

. Exactly why do we want to

listen

Add the preposition

tolisten

show examples

music

Use synonyms

? Is the

Use synonyms

world

Change noun form

world's

show examples

popular

music

Use synonyms

more essential than

Use synonyms

country's

Correct article usage

the country's

show examples

own

music

Use synonyms

? I will explain these two perspectives and will elaborate

the

Change preposition

on the

show examples

idea behind them.

Music

Use synonyms

plays a vital role in day-to-day

human's

Change noun form

human

show examples

lifestyle while improving their mental and physical well-being. All human

being

Fix the agreement mistake

beings

show examples

desire to live a happy life and every day they struggle on achieving that. Despite, rapid development and continuous changing

Change preposition

show examples

the whole

world

Use synonyms

makes

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

people extraordinary busy, keeps them away from

entertainments

Fix the agreement mistake

entertainment

show examples

and isolates from thinking about

real

Add an article

the real

show examples

meaning of life.

As a result

Linking Words

, anxiety, depression,

suicidal

Correct word choice

and suicidal

show examples

cases are increasing all over the

world

Use synonyms

due to the lack of balanced

Correct your spelling

mindsets

show examples

mind sets

Correct your spelling

mindsets

show examples

Despite

Correct pronoun usage

thisDespite

show examples

researches

Correct your spelling

researchers

show examples

have studied

about

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the effect of

music

Use synonyms

on human brain activities and it has shown promising results that

music

Use synonyms

can heel

human

Correct article usage

the human

show examples

brain and can improve

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

mental well-being. Physical stability directly correlates with mental health

thus

Linking Words

healthy mind eventually

help

Correct subject-verb agreement

helps

show examples

for physical well-being. Apart from that, different

music

Use synonyms

genres have

introduced

Add a missing verb

been introduced

show examples

throughout the

world

Use synonyms

such

Linking Words

as classical

music

Use synonyms

hip-pop

Correct your spelling

hip-hop

show examples

, rock, jazz and many more.

In addition

Linking Words

to those global hits, there

are

Change the verb form

show examples

specific

music

Use synonyms

with

Change preposition

show examples

cultural, religious, and geographical features depending on various countries. Indeed, the primitive stage of

those conventional

Change the determiner

that conventional music

show examples

music

Use synonyms

was the key

factors

Fix the agreement mistake

factor

show examples

for

Change preposition

show examples

the development of the current

world

Use synonyms

music

Use synonyms

Therefore

Linking Words

, though there are

world

Use synonyms

popular

music

Use synonyms

genres,

Use synonyms

country's

Correct article usage

a country's

show examples

own

music

Use synonyms

also

Linking Words

as same as important as international

music

Use synonyms

. In my point of view,

music

Use synonyms

is exactly essential for

human's

Change noun form

human

show examples

life, not only considering

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

mental well-being but

also

Linking Words

regarding the physical aspects.

In addition

Linking Words

Use synonyms

Add a hyphen

country-specific

show examples

country specific

Add a hyphen

country-specific

show examples

music

Use synonyms

styles are the forefathers of today's

Use synonyms

Add a hyphen

world-famous

show examples

world famous

Add a hyphen

world-famous

show examples

music

Use synonyms

and we cannot underestimate them.

natha92714

Jul 23, 2022

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
37
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

312 words

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there are many different types of music in the world today.why do we need music?is the traditional musci of a country more important than the international music that is heard everywhere nowadays?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Some people think that strict punishments for driving offences are the key to reducing traffic accidents. Others, however, believe that other measures would be more effective in improving road safety. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some children spend hours everyday on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Nowadays many people eat very badly in spite of the information which is available about ways to have a healthy, balanced diet. What could be the possible causes of this? Suggest some solutions which may improve the eating habits of the young.

Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages? Give reason for your answer and include any relevant example from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people think that environmental problems should be solved on a global scale while others believe it is better to deal with them nationally. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.