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Band 5.5

The young today spend a large amount of their leisure time in shopping centres. It is feared that this trend can bring negative influences on the youths and the society. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

#amount #leisure #time #centres #trend #influences #youths #society
Nowadays, the shopping centres are easily accessible, as there is development in terms of city malls. The younger generation
are
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is
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 more interested in shopping than doing other activities. I agree that
this
 trend can affect
the
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apply
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them as well as society in a negative way.
First
 of all, spending leisure
time
in
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apply
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shopping is a dead investment, which can result in
Correct your spelling
losing
lossing
Correct your spelling
losing
 money.
Although
 the money lost belongs to their parents, the kids may fail to learn the value of wealth, especially, if they are allowed to shop freely.
Additionally
, allowing the youngsters to develop a
habbit
Correct your spelling
habit
 of seeking entertainment in expenditure may expose them to dark social aspects
such
 as cyber crimes.
For example
, those who play online games regularly might link
the
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their
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 credit cards to their gaming account, which makes
easy
Correct pronoun usage
it easy
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 for them
buy
Fix the infinitive
to buy
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premium
Correct article usage
the premium
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 features of the game;
however
, it may provide access to hackers to steal the amount in
bank
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the bank
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 account.
Furthermore
, if the free
time
 is used in learning life or job
skills
, they may develop new abilities, which improve their CV and may help them to earn
better
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the better
a better
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job
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jobs
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. Meanwhile, these
skills
 help an individual to improve their personalities.
For instance
,
the
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apply
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Narendar
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Narendra
 Modi, who is the current prime minister of India, had
huge
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a huge
show examples
 change in his social views after he started reading
the
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apply
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books related to
Correct your spelling
reformation
reformatiom
Correct article usage
the reformatiom
show examples
 of society.
Therefore
, it is always good to spend
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
leisure
time
in
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apply
show examples
improving
skills
 and one's personality rather than seeking fun in procurement. In my opinion, it is not advisable for young people to waste their free
time
in
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apply
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shopping.
Instead
, they should focus
in
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on
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Correct your spelling
utilising
utilizing
uitilising
Correct your spelling
utilising
 the valuable
time
 to attain better
skills
 and character in order to be a person in society, which could benefit
to
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apply
show examples
an individual as well as
community
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the community
show examples
.
Submitted by rajkumarmvn on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • leisure time
  • shopping centre
  • negative influences
  • trend
  • materialism
  • consumer culture
  • impulsive buying
  • financial strain
  • exposure
  • physical activity
  • social interactions
  • small businesses
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