In some countries people are forced to retire when they reach a certain age. What are the advantages and disadvantages?

#countries #people #age

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

few

Correct article usage

a few

show examples

areas,old

people

Use synonyms

are obligated to stop working and

this

Linking Words

problem

cause

Change the verb form

causes

show examples

a lot of conflicts.According to my point of

views

Fix the agreement mistake

view

show examples

although

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

issue has some drawbacks the advantages are more significant On the one hand,retirement soon has some disadvantages.

Firstly

Linking Words

,there is a handicap for

people

Use synonyms

who do not want to stop working and they have many reasons.As the matter of fact,they want to continue their career because they have to pay

Change preposition

for a

show examples

lot

Add the preposition

oflot

show examples

basic needs.

For example

Linking Words

,they must disburse for

electric

Add an article

the electric

an electric

show examples

bill

Fix the agreement mistake

bills

show examples

tuition

Correct word choice

and tuition

show examples

of their children.

In addition

Linking Words

people

Use synonyms

who have

unlucky

Add an article

an unlucky

show examples

situation

Fix the agreement mistake

situations

show examples

they

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

want to spend

Change the article

the

show examples

main part of their life making money to improve their circumstances.

Secondly

Linking Words

people

Use synonyms

who are very passionate

with

Change preposition

about

show examples

their job and they want to become successful in their domain.

For example

Linking Words

,Donald Trump who is the former president of

USA

Correct article usage

the USA

show examples

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

finished his term of office at the age of 74.

On the other hand

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

issue

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

a lot of advantages.

First

Linking Words

of all,it is very beneficial for old

people

Use synonyms

’s health.When they retire,they no longer have work depression,

Correct pronoun usage

which

show examples

will reduce the big number of stress.

In addition

Linking Words

,they can

also

Linking Words

let their hair down with their hobbies which they do not have enough time to do when they are working.

For instance

Linking Words

, they are able to play chess with others in their

neighborhood

Change the spelling

neighbourhood

show examples

, they can spend their time taking care

for

Change preposition

show examples

their kids

such

Linking Words

as talking about their real-life experiences

then

Linking Words

the relationship between them and their children may become closer.

Moreover

Linking Words

,the most important benefit of

this

Linking Words

issue is creating more job opportunities for young

people

Use synonyms

.In fact,the skills and experience of

people

Use synonyms

who already enter adulthood are not as great as old

people

Use synonyms

so if they retire soon,young

people

Use synonyms

will have more

chance

Fix the agreement mistake

chances

show examples

to receive well-paid jobs. In conclusion,early retirement is a beneficial problem so its advantages outweigh the drawbacks.

Submitted by nguyenthuytien1609 on Sat Jul 23 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
20
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

295 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

8
band
You recently organized an all-day meeting for your company, which took place in a local hotel. In their feedback, participants at the meeting said that they liked the hotel, but they were unhappy about the food that was served for lunch. Write a letter to the manager of the hotel. In the letter • Say what the participants liked about the hotel • Explain why they were unhappy about the food • Suggest what the manger should do to improve the food in future
I am writing in connection with the all-day educational meeting that was held on 21 September in your hotel. I am Mahshid Kargar and I was the manager of that event. According to feedback I acquired via questionnaire, participants who attended the meeting said “Although they had a positive opinion about the hotel, the food that was served for lunch was not suitable.” They had complaints about the variety, taste and quality of the foods.
5
band
Today more and more people want things instantly (e.g goods, service, news) Why is this ? Is it a positive or negative development ?
In light of the proliferation of technology, an increasing number of individuals tend to require necessities immediately. This is understandably attributable to the advanced technology leading to the faster pace of life. The writer contends that this is an adverse enhancement causing a lack of perseverance and patience.
5
band
Information technology enables many people to do their work outside their workplace. Do the benefit of this mobility out where the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Technological advancements and cutting-edge gagdets' creation have brought many advantages to human beings, one of the foremost is remote work. For this reason, many people argue that working from home has many advantages that should be leveraged, while many others think that drawbacks overweigh benefits. I believe that both sides should be considered, and in this essay, I explain in detail my point of view.
7.5
band
Some people believe they should keep all the money they have earned and should not pay taxes to the state. Do you agree or disagree?
It is sometimes argued that people should preserve the total income they have acquired and not make tax payments to the government.
7
band
A growing number of people rely on restaurants and convenience food (frozen food and packaged meals) rather than home-cooked food to supply most of their meals. What are the advantages and disadvantages of eating this way?
Food is essential for everyone to survive in life. Nowadays, we have various options for junk meals as the number of restaurants is increasing in all cities. Therefore, most people prefer to eat outside or take the option of packed snacks as compared to homemade cooking. I will discuss the positive and negative points of this trend.

In some countries people are forced to retire when they reach a certain age. What are the advantages and disadvantages?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Today more and more people want things instantly (e.g goods, service, news) Why is this ? Is it a positive or negative development ?

Information technology enables many people to do their work outside their workplace. Do the benefit of this mobility out where the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people believe they should keep all the money they have earned and should not pay taxes to the state. Do you agree or disagree?

A growing number of people rely on restaurants and convenience food (frozen food and packaged meals) rather than home-cooked food to supply most of their meals. What are the advantages and disadvantages of eating this way?