For a long time art has been considered an essential part of all cultures in the world. However, nowadays people’s values have changed, and we tend to consider science, technology and business more important than arts. What do you think are the causes of this? What can be done to draw people’s attention to art?

What probably has
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
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changed in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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Correct your spelling
recent
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resent
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recent
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years is changing people's tend from
art
to science, business and technology. In my
opinion
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,opinion
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by changing the ways of earning
money
life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
of people has recently been changed and more profitable occupation asked from individuals,
therefore
, being profited can
makes
Change the verb form
make
show examples
art
more and more
attracted
Replace the word
attractive
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. The main cause might be that,
in contrast
to past kind of earning
money
has been changed, most of
people
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the people
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for earning
money
had to learn a kind of handy crafts,
for
example
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,example
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majority of equipment
especially at
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, especially at house,
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house
Add an article
the house
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was made by hand
an
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a
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consider as
occupation
Add an article
an occupation
the occupation
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for making living whereas nowadays for earning
money
there is
Add an article
a
show examples
more profitable choice. Put it
simple
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simply
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, by
run
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running
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a factory which has the cutting edge of technology and latest science we can have superior profit. A possible solution for changing
this
approach could be making
art
more profitable. In more
detail
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,detail
show examples
government can allocate some positive
point
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points
show examples
to courage
youngster
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youngsters
show examples
to select
art
as a suitable major not only for having affluent
life
but for expressing themselves to the world.
For
example
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,example
show examples
after paying a sizable number
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of loan
show examples
loan
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loans
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to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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individuals to establish the institute of
art
in Iran the number of
this
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these
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places has
increase
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increased
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20
percent
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per cent
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since 5 years ago. In conclusion in a faster pace
life
Add a comma
,life
show examples
some part of
life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
has been changed and the attraction toward
art
is not as much as some kind of skills like business, science and technology
hence
by allowing some financial help to the artists we could attract more applicants.
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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • STEM fields (Science, Technology, Engineering, and Mathematics)
  • evolve
  • technological advancements
  • overshadowing
  • financial pressures
  • practical careers
  • digital entertainment
  • accessible
  • integrated
  • curricula
  • fostering
  • emotional intelligence
  • public art projects
  • engage
  • interactive
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