For a long time art has been considered an essential part of all cultures in the world. However, nowadays people’s values have changed, and we tend to consider science, technology and business more important than arts. What do you think are the causes of this? What can be done to draw people’s attention to art?

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What probably has
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
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changed in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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Correct your spelling
recent
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resent
Correct your spelling
recent
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years is changing people's tend from
art
Use synonyms
to science, business and technology. In my
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
show examples
by changing the ways of earning
money
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
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of people has recently been changed and more profitable occupation asked from individuals,
therefore
Linking Words
, being profited can
makes
Change the verb form
make
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art
Use synonyms
more and more
attracted
Replace the word
attractive
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. The main cause might be that,
in contrast
Linking Words
to past kind of earning
money
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has been changed, most of
people
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the people
show examples
for earning
money
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had to learn a kind of handy crafts,
for
Linking Words
example
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,example
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majority of equipment
especially at
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, especially at house,
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house
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the house
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was made by hand
an
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a
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consider as
occupation
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an occupation
the occupation
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for making living whereas nowadays for earning
money
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there is
Add an article
a
show examples
more profitable choice. Put it
simple
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simply
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, by
run
Wrong verb form
running
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a factory which has the cutting edge of technology and latest science we can have superior profit. A possible solution for changing
this
Linking Words
approach could be making
art
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more profitable. In more
detail
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,detail
show examples
government can allocate some positive
point
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points
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to courage
youngster
Fix the agreement mistake
youngsters
show examples
to select
art
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as a suitable major not only for having affluent
life
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but for expressing themselves to the world.
For
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example
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,example
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after paying a sizable number
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of loan
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loan
Fix the agreement mistake
loans
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to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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individuals to establish the institute of
art
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in Iran the number of
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
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places has
increase
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increased
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20
percent
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per cent
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since 5 years ago. In conclusion in a faster pace
Use synonyms
life
Add a comma
,life
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some part of
Use synonyms
life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
has been changed and the attraction toward
art
Use synonyms
is not as much as some kind of skills like business, science and technology
hence
Linking Words
by allowing some financial help to the artists we could attract more applicants.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • STEM fields (Science, Technology, Engineering, and Mathematics)
  • evolve
  • technological advancements
  • overshadowing
  • financial pressures
  • practical careers
  • digital entertainment
  • accessible
  • integrated
  • curricula
  • fostering
  • emotional intelligence
  • public art projects
  • engage
  • interactive
What to do next:
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