One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Over the past 50 years, people have become used to the idea that they will probably live longer than their grandparents did.
However
Linking Words
, a longer life is only desirable if you can look after yourself and be independent,
Linking Words
otherwise
Add a comma
otherwise,
show examples
there can be disadvantages for everyone. If you walk into a hospital in my country, you are likely to see a lot more elderly people than you did in the past. In fact,
this
Linking Words
is causing significant problems as there is a shortage of beds. Medical treatment is keeping the elderly alive, but at what cost to others? On top of
this
Linking Words
, one of the biggest medical problems these days is dementia. Even if
old
Add an article
the old
show examples
community are still fit, they may not be able to look after themselves. They may have to live with their children or be cared for in a home, which can be expensive.
Elderly
Correct article usage
The elderly
show examples
population do not like to be a burden, but their children can feel obliged to care for them. Obviously, not all old society
become
Correct subject-verb agreement
becomes
show examples
ill. Those who remain healthy can enjoy a happy old age as long as they have saved enough money. folk are much more active in their sixties and seventies than they used to be and
this
Linking Words
can only be a good thing. They have time to enjoy their retirement and do a range of activities that they could not do when they were at work. They can
also
Linking Words
help look after their grandchildren, which is a great benefit for working parents.
To sum up
Linking Words
, I believe that we should aim to keep people as healthy as possible so that they can enjoy their old age without having to rely on others. A longer life expectancy is obviously advantageous, but no one wants to live to be 100 if they only cause problems for their family and society.
Submitted by vinayrao080808 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • life expectancy
  • elderly population
  • health care systems
  • pension funds
  • extended family relationships
  • quality of life
  • aging population
  • economic growth
  • volunteer work
  • expertise
  • financial planning
  • retirement
  • age-related diseases
  • medical research
  • healthier lifestyles
What to do next:
Look at other essays: