One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?
Over the past 50 years, people have become used to the idea that they will probably live longer than their grandparents did.
However
, a longer life is only desirable if you can look after yourself and be independent, otherwise
there can be disadvantages for everyone. If you walk into a hospital in my country, you are likely to see a lot more elderly people than you did in the past. In fact, Add a comma
otherwise,
this
is causing significant problems as there is a shortage of beds. Medical treatment is keeping the elderly alive, but at what cost to others? On top of this
, one of the biggest medical problems these days is dementia. Even if old
community are still fit, they may not be able to look after themselves. They may have to live with their children or be cared for in a home, which can be expensive. Add an article
the old
Elderly
population do not like to be a burden, but their children can feel obliged to care for them. Obviously, not all old society Correct article usage
The elderly
become
ill. Those who remain healthy can enjoy a happy old age as long as they have saved enough money. folk are much more active in their sixties and seventies than they used to be and Correct subject-verb agreement
becomes
this
can only be a good thing. They have time to enjoy their retirement and do a range of activities that they could not do when they were at work. They can also
help look after their grandchildren, which is a great benefit for working parents.To sum up
, I believe that we should aim to keep people as healthy as possible so that they can enjoy their old age without having to rely on others. A longer life expectancy is obviously advantageous, but no one wants to live to be 100 if they only cause problems for their family and society.Submitted by vinayrao080808 on
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite