IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some people say that computers have made life easier and more convenient. Other people say that computers have made life more complex and stressful. Discuss and give your opinion.

#people #computers #life
Many
people
 believe that
computers
 help our lives
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
not be difficult and effortless, while others claim that the internet makes our lives more complicated and it leads to stress. Even though
computers
 can lead to some health problems and
crime
Replace the word
criminal
show examples
 activity, I believe it helps us to acquire news around the globe
Correct your spelling
quicker
quickier
Correct your spelling
quickly
 and it makes communication with
people
 we love faster.   The Internet leads to many
crime
Replace the word
criminal
show examples
 activities,
such
 as cyberbullying, fraud, and so on. A lot of
people
, especially older generations, get confused by the way
computers
 work.
This
 can sometimes result in something they did not mean to do,
for example
, posting a picture of themselves without really realizing it.
Furthermore
,
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
absorbing too much information on the internet,
this
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can stress your mind and lead to some mental health problems,
for instance
, insomnia.
On the other hand
, many
people
also
 benefit from
computers
. When students want to find out about something for their education, they can just search on
computers
. They can gain more access to some online books and situations that are happening around the world.
In Addition
, communication becomes easier and faster,
people
 can text their partners anytime they miss them.
This
 can
also
 bond the relationship to be closer.
For
Change preposition
In
show examples
 my view, I agree that technology makes our lives easier because it really helps me with my studying purposes. I can do my homework outside my house and I can
also
 search
about
Change preposition
for
show examples
 things I want to know anytime.
Additionally
, when my parents and I are living apart, I get to hear their voices and talk to them
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
 by calling them. In conclusion, technology can have a negative effect if used
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 wrong
ways
Fix the agreement mistake
way
show examples
 or used without instructions.
Nevertheless
, it has a positive impact
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 many
people
’s educational purposes and everyday life communication.
Submitted by parypearcs on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: