IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some group of people believe that youth people like student should work for community for free and they shouldn’t earn money from their job.

#group #people #youth #student #work #community #shouldn’t #money #job
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Some group of
people
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 believe that
youth
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people
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 like students should
work
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 for the
community
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 for free and they shouldn’t earn
money
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 from their job because they think it has advantages for both
community
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 and themselves and I completely agree with
this
Linking Words
 group because
youth
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people
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 only on that age can
work
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 for the
community
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 and after the adolescent period and after graduating they do not have free time as they have now, and in my ,opinion everyone should do unpaid
community
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 job because they can learn something that can help them in their life .
First
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 of all,
youth
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people
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 only can gain real-world experience from
community
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 service which is good for the
next
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 paid job. You can add these works to your career and cv so employers
hires
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hire
show examples
 easier than those who have not done
community
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 jobs. More importantly, these communities teach you some useful skills. Like problem-solving, time management is necessary before adults'
period
Fix the agreement mistake
periods
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 start.
For example
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, the employee
whom
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who
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learned these skills
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 surely has a pleasant boss.
Besides
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, there are some
people
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 which need
money
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 for studying or living. We should not expect them to
work
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 free because they need
money
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 to have a good life.
For instance
Linking Words
, a student who needs
money
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 to pay his tuition to university. so, there is some exception. In conclusion,
community
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 services have numerous advantages that
youth
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people
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 should benefit
.
Change preposition
from.
show examples
 But
also
Linking Words
 we should consider some specific cases in which they can not
work
Use synonyms
 for free.
Submitted by ario1381 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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