It is the responsibility of individuals to save and provide for their own retirement. Governments have no obligation to provide this benefit. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Aftermath
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The aftermath
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of the industrial
revulation
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revolution
humankind achieved progressing numerous aspects of
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technology
tecnology
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technology
such
as
aircrafts
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aircraft
show examples
, cars, mobiles, and
internet
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the internet
show examples
.
However
,
this
kind of improvement caused colossal devastation
on
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to
show examples
nature and
animals
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the animals
show examples
which lives there. Nowadays, governments and non-
govermental
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governmental
organizations have been spending
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a lot
alot
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a lot
of money
for
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on
show examples
saving these living beings, whereas some people are thinking that any expense for
animals
is wasting public and individual resources. I completely disagree
this
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with this
show examples
idea owing to two main reasons.
First
of all, humanity all of the historical process benefited from various means which involves streams, forests, natural sources like coal, and
finally
animals
. To illustrate, mankind
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along with
alongwith
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along with
using
horse
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horses
show examples
could transfer from a place to
other land
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another land
other lands
show examples
where
Replace the word
were
show examples
wanted to reach, labourless than before.
Moreover
, horses were one of the most important
wepons
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weapons
that kingdoms used for enlarged their borders.
In addition
, from the
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beginning
begining
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beginning
of history animal products have been seen
an
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as an
show examples
essential nutrition source by humanity and have
being
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been
show examples
consuming for a
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healthy
healty
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healthy
life.
Therefore
,
protection
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the protection
show examples
of habitats is a moral obligation for today’s human
being
Fix the agreement mistake
beings
show examples
.
Second
of all, there is an equilibrium in nature
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
based on
quantity
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the quantity
show examples
of species.
This
balance plays
important
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an important
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role
on
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in
show examples
natural
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the natural
a natural
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area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
as well
human
Correct word choice
as human
show examples
life.
For instance
, if snakes
extincted
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extinct
,
number
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the number
show examples
of mice would increase all around the World. As well known reality is that the mouse can contaminate diverse
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diseases
disease
disases
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diseases
among
the
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apply
show examples
people.
Hence
, mankind must struggle to defend nature for
own
Correct pronoun usage
its own
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future. To conclude,
cost
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the cost
show examples
of
protection
Replace the word
protecting
show examples
animals
and their
habitant
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habitat
show examples
is not
waste
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a waste
show examples
money
Change preposition
of money
show examples
, due to sustainable life for people and
debt
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the debt
show examples
of humankind to
animals
.
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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • retirement savings
  • financial planning
  • economic circumstances
  • government provision
  • basic state pension
  • financial independence
  • income disparities
  • aging populations
  • social safety net
  • tax burden
  • financial education
  • quality of life
  • personal financial responsibility
  • social inequality
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