Topic: Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views.

After
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
high school
education
Add a comma
,education
show examples
students encounter two main options: going to university or getting a job. Some people think that candidates who are new graduated should start college whereas a number of citizens assert finding work is better than college. It seems to me that
two
Correct article usage
the two
show examples
choices which are cited above have advantages and disadvantages.
In
Change preposition
This
show examples
this
essay will be discussed these choices. On the one hand, universities supply many opportunities to the students for successful careers
such
as being a lawyer, teacher or politician. At the same time, these kinds of jobs are beneficial for society due to
Correct article usage
the needs
show examples
needs
Fix the agreement mistake
need
show examples
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
high qualified occupations.
For example
, a student who chose the pursuing
Correct article usage
a collage
show examples
Correct your spelling
college
show examples
collage
Correct your spelling
college
show examples
education
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
could receive
bachelor
Change noun form
bachelor's
show examples
degrees
Fix the agreement mistake
degree
show examples
from school became a doctor and could serve for
public
Add an article
the public
show examples
.
Therefore
,
university
Correct article usage
a university
show examples
education
is quite important for getting spectacular
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
.
On the other hand
, employees who are subsequence of
highschool
Correct your spelling
high school
show examples
starting work, have been evaluated by numerous
expert
Fix the agreement mistake
experts
show examples
as essential figures
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
the labour market.
For instance
, many sectors which do not require diverse talent, need nonqualified workers.
Moreover
, employers who held the basic jobs can not offer work to
high
Replace the word
highly
show examples
qualified people.
Hence
, getting a job after
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
secondary
education
valuable as going to university. Should be considered that many people can find
Add an article
a job
show examples
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
easily rather than qualified workers. To conclude, both options are very important for the benefit of
community
Add an article
the community
show examples
and each choice
submit
Change the verb form
submits
show examples
different
Correct article usage
a different
show examples
career opportunity.
Thus
, options should be prefered by candidates for their tendencies and there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
not
Correct your spelling
no
show examples
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
inequality between the two choices mentioned before.
Submitted by myurt4848 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: