IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Many parents are unhappy with the amount of violence in video games, television programs, and other leisure activities. How harmful could this be to children? What could be done to solve this problem?

#parents #amount #violence #video #games #television #programs #leisure #activities #be #children
Certainly, it is believed by some people that many guardians are not happy due to the rise of violence through
video
 games,
television
 serials and other free time
activities
. These
activities
 could be harmful to their
children
 and create some negative impacts on their innocent minds but some solutions could be implemented for solving a number of problems. Undoubtedly, according to
parents
video
 games,
television
 programs and other
activities
 are creating many types of negative effects on their adolescents. The
first
 and foremost problem has occurred the eyesight issue. To explain, watching more number of serials on the
television
 or mobile phone for using
video
 games totally harm their vision by producing heavy light.
Secondly
, these
activities
 cause them of losing their interest in studies because
children
 always think about their favourite serials or favourite role module which cannot focus them on their education.
Moreover
, it can cause misbehaving, and aggressive behaviour because
television
 shows always represent the debate between relations.
On the other hand
, these types of serious issues could be solved by taking a number of steps.
Firstly
,
parents
 should guide and allow them to watch and play for a limited duration and they should stay with them while playing or watching any kind of activity.
In addition
, it not only saves them from eyesight issues but
also
 indicates them to learn manners and behave accurately with their near and dear ones. Apart from that schools should keep an eye on their students while playing or watching something during their schools times because if both
parents
 and teachers will understand the responsibility of child care so these reasons will solve automatically. To conclude, it is rightly said that nowadays most
parents
 are worried about their
children
 owing to the enhancement in TV set watchers and
video
 gamers which all create problems for their
children
. Whereas, these issues can be tackled by implementing solutions.
Submitted by ankeshsaini100 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: