Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?

#museums #charge #admission #people

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People

Use synonyms

need to

charge

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whenever they enter the

museums

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while there are some

museums

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which are not essential to

charge

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. To my way of thinking , the benefits of charging

people

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for admission are more than the negative impacts.

Firstly

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, the cankerous parts of the

museums

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can be repaired and the existing things can be updated by spending the money which comes from charging the

people

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for admission. Nowadays, not only students but

also

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workers usually go to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

museum whenever they have free time so

that

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apply

show examples

museums

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can be regarded as a place which

people

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visit most.

Subsequently

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, the more

people

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come

Remove the comma

apply

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the more possibilities that the museum can be old.

However

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, it can be repaired if there is enough finance to repair the cankerous parts.

For example

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, some frames are destroyed and

people

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cannot see clearly through the frame because of the unclean surface.

Moreover

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, the existing things which are

picture’s

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picture

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frames and maps can be updated. And

then

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instead

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of showing the world map or local map

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show examples

board

Add an article

the board

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, illustrating the maps by computers can attract

the

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apply

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people

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’s interests.

Secondly

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museums

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can serve the visitors with great facilities. Building the toilets

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show examples

every floor is not only comfortable but

also

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convenient for the visitors. After that, establishing the elevator is suitable for both elder

people

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and children who are interested in

the

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apply

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history but they have difficulty to visit around the museum. And

then

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people

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need to leave their phones, cameras and snacks which are not allowed to bring up with them in the safe boxes. Only if the

museums

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have enough budget to put these things,

people

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will be insouciant and can visit peacefully.

Consequently

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, putting the benches which

people

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can take relaxation when they are exhausted to walk is an excellent thing that can make

people

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satisfied. In conclusion, many

museums

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ask for

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Correct article usage

a charge

show examples

charge

Fix the agreement mistake

charges

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to enter it while others are unnecessary to

charge

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. From my point of view, the advantages of charging for

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people

Change noun form

people's

show examples

admission outweigh

than

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apply

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the drawbacks.

Submitted by tr.zarwaihnin on Wed Jul 27 2022

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

334 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Admission fee
Revenue stream
Maintenance
Overcrowding
Commercialization
Cultural heritage
Diverse attendance
Community ownership
Access to culture
Visitor experience
Exhibit quality
Cultural mission
Reliance on funding
Government subsidies
Cultural accessibility

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Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people think that the best way to learn is from newspapers. Others think that the best way to learn is through other media. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Many university students want to learn about different subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others feel it is important to give all their time and attention to studying for their qualification.

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Many customs and traditional ways of behaviour are no longer relevant to modern life and not worth keeping. Do you agree or disagree?