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Band 5

The use of mobile phones in public areas is as antisocial as smoking. Smoking is banned in certain places, so  mobile phones should be banned in the same way. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#phones #areas #places
Dear Department of Children and Youth I, Duangjai Lothaisong, graduated from Mahasarakham university, during studying I got a chance to stay in
Sydney
 for a month in 2017,
which
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and
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 I took a short English course at The University of
Sydney
. Nowadays, I have been working
as
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in
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 Hotel Reception for almost 3 years at STAY Hotel, Bangkok. After working for a while, I feel very tired, not physically but mentally.
Thus
, I found out about the program a couple of years ago when
this
 hashtag(#ย้ายประเทศกันเถอะ) had been created. I spent lots of time searching for
Correct article usage
the qualification
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qualification
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qualifications
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 details the authorities needed and preparing myself to be one of the appropriate applicants. My itinerary will be divided
to
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into
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 three chapters because I desire to know their culture and
travel
 to discover many unseen cities that I never know.
Firstly
, If I quickly get a visa in October, I will be ready to go around November
this
 year. After arriving, I will live with my friend in
Sydney
 for a week and find hospitality jobs that I think would be similar to my current work. As I researched, the hospitality jobs that suit my skill would be casual dining and events staff,
hotel
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and hotel
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 staff. So, if I get a job, I will find my own accommodation near my workplace. While living there, I will
travel
 to all destination points that I have never been there in New South Wales,
such
 as Hunter Valley and Coffs Harbor.
Secondly
, I will go to Tasmania, Hobart, which is an island state of Australia to
travel
 there for around 2 months and work casual jobs because I have my dream to
travel
 to Mona, Flinders Island, Wineglass Bay and hike at Cradle Mountain-Lake St. Clair National Park which is one of Tasmania's tourism treasures and
a
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apply
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nirvana for nature lovers. During the winter months (June – August), I will go back to
Sydney
 to do various activities,
such
 as joining Captain Cook’s crew to watch some whales, outdoor ice-skating around the city and skiing in Charlotte Pass, Kosciuszko National Park, which is the highest and oldest ski resort in Australia. I believe that I can improve my English skills on a daily basis.
Moreover
, Australia is a multicultural country that I can learn about its cultural diversity to adopt in daily life when I come back to Thailand.
Lastly
, the Work and Holiday program would give me the best opportunity to explore the bigger world than I know, particularly how to survive when living abroad alone. Best Regards, Duangjai Lothaisong (Applicant)
Submitted by Duangjai.lot on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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