🔶More and more young people from wealthy countries are spending time in communities in poorer countries doing unpaid work such as teaching or building houses. 🔸Why is this? 🔸Who benefits more from this, the communities or these young people?

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Some volunteering activities like erecting houses or educating have been increasing among young
people
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in the affluent country toward deprived nations. The reason for
this
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trend and its benefits will be discussed.
To begin
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with, as long as a couple of years ago, the
number
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of poor
people
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in the world has dramatically increased, as well as, the
number
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of volunteers who are inclined to help these
people
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. What it means is that nowadays more countries are under sanction,
therefore
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the
number
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of
people
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who need help is increased,
hence
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youngsters are more interested in visiting these
people
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and getting to the bottom of their problems. Take the Ukraine war as an example, the
number
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of young individuals who
traveled
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travelled
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to
this
Linking Words
country from Iran for doing
some
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
unpaid jobs related to engineering and teaching has increased by about 15% based on research conducted by Sharif University.
Additionally
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,
people
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in underprivileged nations get benefits more than young
people
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. To be precise, without the shadow of a doubt, devoting to the poor nation is a vital service through which these
people
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can have a better life and be survived their horrible situations. To illustrate, by erecting some apartments for homeless
people
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or teaching them,
besides
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a standard life, they will be experts in doing
such
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activities in the future.
Moreover
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, younger
people
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get an invaluable experience during their work and it could be a functional resume for their CV. To conclude, by increasing the
number
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of poor
people
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throughout the world, the
number
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of
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a youngster
the youngster
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youngster
Change to a plural noun
youngsters
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who
helping
Wrong verb form
help
show examples
these
people
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has increased,
in addition
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, the benefits for the volunteer is not as much as poor nations.
Submitted by shokoohghavami on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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