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🔶More and more young people from wealthy countries are spending time in communities in poorer countries doing unpaid work such as teaching or building houses. 🔸Why is this? 🔸Who benefits more from this, the communities or these young people?

#🔶more #people #countries #time #communities #work #houses #🔸why #🔸who
Some volunteering activities like erecting houses or educating have been increasing among young
people
 in the affluent country toward deprived nations. The reason for
this
 trend and its benefits will be discussed.
To begin
 with, as long as a couple of years ago, the
number
 of poor
people
 in the world has dramatically increased, as well as, the
number
 of volunteers who are inclined to help these
people
. What it means is that nowadays more countries are under sanction,
therefore
 the
number
 of
people
 who need help is increased,
hence
 youngsters are more interested in visiting these
people
 and getting to the bottom of their problems. Take the Ukraine war as an example, the
number
 of young individuals who
traveled
Change the spelling
travelled
show examples
 to
this
 country from Iran for doing
some
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
unpaid jobs related to engineering and teaching has increased by about 15% based on research conducted by Sharif University.
Additionally
,
people
 in underprivileged nations get benefits more than young
people
. To be precise, without the shadow of a doubt, devoting to the poor nation is a vital service through which these
people
 can have a better life and be survived their horrible situations. To illustrate, by erecting some apartments for homeless
people
 or teaching them,
besides
 a standard life, they will be experts in doing
such
 activities in the future.
Moreover
, younger
people
 get an invaluable experience during their work and it could be a functional resume for their CV. To conclude, by increasing the
number
 of poor
people
 throughout the world, the
number
 of
Add an article
a youngster
the youngster
show examples
youngster
Change to a plural noun
youngsters
show examples
 who
helping
Wrong verb form
help
show examples
 these
people
 has increased,
in addition
, the benefits for the volunteer is not as much as poor nations.
Submitted by shokoohghavami on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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