IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Art is considered an essential part of all cultures throughout the world. However, these days fewer and fewer people appreciate art and turn their focus to science, technology and business.

#art #part #cultures #world #people #focus #science #technology #business
The notion of
Art
 is one of the important cultures in the world and promotes understanding and appreciation of our diverse cultures, stories, experiences and distinctiveness of personal opinions. But nowadays, most
people
 are focusing on science,
technology
 and
business
. In
this
 essay possible the reason behind and measures to arouse
people
’s interest in the
arts
. The reason for
this
 trend may involve the recognition that science,
technology
 and
business
 are playing a key role in economic growth.
First
, there are some forms of scientific investigation of future problems of the Earth not being able to support the human population. Scientists innovated in order to conduct in-depth research on the future of humanity.
Therefore
,
people
 focus on science more than
art
.
Second
, on the one ,hand
technology
 is a replacement of
people
 with computers is an inevitable trend. On the other ,hand automation is a tool that can be used equally in all endeavours including
art
 so that
people
 concentrate on
technology
 more.
Third
, a
business
 can boost the economy, increase its competitive edge and build a good reputation.
toaccording
Correct your spelling
according
to according
this
 point,
people
 are affected more by
business
 than by
art
. As a consequence, how could impact more
people
 appreciate
art
? We could educate
people
 to understand the importance of the role of
art
 better, and broaden their horizons, it is necessary to bear in mind the explicit and implied functions of
art
. In the face of the increasing ignorance of the
arts
, I suggest that the government should arrange different
art
 exhibitions in public places. The place would be suggested downtown or central town centre. It is easier to seek
arts
 everywhere,
Change preposition
with
show examples
plenty of space to advocate
people
's interest in
arts
.
Thus
, urge them to government build up more and more galleries or
art
 museums, sometimes exclusive to offering free tickets, to give an
art
 atmosphere surrounding everywhere. In conclusion, my view is that
people
 should be encouraged to be
art
-oriented, upgrade the facilities, and strive to endeavour
people
 to take interest in
art
.
That is
 the best way for them to get a clear perspective of what they are hoping to do with their
art
 life.The human consciousness continues to incorporate ate these achievements into its activities by
arts
.
Submitted by miutham on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: