In many countries traditional foods are replaced by fast food. This has a negative impact on families, individuals and society. Do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, it is increasingly common that

people

Use synonyms

prefer

Fix the infinitive

to prefer

show examples

fast

foods

Use synonyms

rather than traditional meals. From my perspective,

this

Linking Words

trend causes a series of negative impacts on individuals, families and societies.

First

Linking Words

of all, as we all know, fast

foods

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are made of ingredients, which include plenty of salts, sugar, as well as fat.

People

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, who are used to eating these desirable but unhealthy

foods

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, are prone to getting health problems,

such

Linking Words

as obesity, high blood pressure and heart diseases. As the unhealthy proportion of the population increase,

as a result

Linking Words

, it can place a great burden on the whole society.

Secondly

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

development

also

Linking Words

can pose a threat to local traditional culture. Take China

Linking Words

for

Add the comma(s)

,for

show examples

example, Chinese traditional

foods

Use synonyms

are a significant sign of our culture, many

people

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consider them as a cultural identity of China.

However

Linking Words

, more and more

people

Use synonyms

, particularly the young generation, are losing

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

interest

Change preposition

show examples

cooking

tradition

Replace the word

traditional

show examples

meals at home, because it takes more time on preparing and cooking and needs years to get proficient.

Consequently

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

trend can hinder the continuity of traditional customs.

Lastly

Linking Words

, eating fast food

impact

Correct subject-verb agreement

impacts

show examples

domestic relationships in a negative way, because, family members have less time to get together.

For instance

Linking Words

, in China, preparing and eating dinners is an important opportunity for the whole family to stay together and share their experiences after a hard-working day. As Chinese

people

Use synonyms

eat more fast food, we are losing

this

Linking Words

habit in families. In conclusion,

although

Linking Words

fast

foods

Use synonyms

are convenient and popular, they obviously

case

Correct your spelling

cause

show examples

many

seriously

Replace the word

serious

show examples

negative impacts on individuals and societies.

alexpan1027

Jul 28, 2022

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.5

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

261 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Impact
Nutritious
Cultural heritage
Identity
Economic implications
Locally sourced
Social cohesion
Environmental degradation
Obesity
Heart diseases
Diabetes
Cultural transmission
Convenience
Traditional dishes
Biodiversity

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