IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

The increase in the production of consumer goods results in damage to the natural environment. What are the causes of this? What can be done solve this problem?

#production #consumer #goods #results #damage #environment
Nowadays, more products which are consumed rapidly are manufactured, and
as a result
, the ecosystem is facing a severe problem. At the same time,
however
, there is some uncertainty as to the causes of
this
 trend and its measures. In
this
 essay, I will discuss both sides of the debate to seek a conclusion.
To begin
 with, consumers tend to buy an excess quantity of items even when they already have enough to use and throw them away after years of hoarding.
For instance
, some young girls hoard facial masks and lipsticks
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but never use them before treating them as rubbish.
Moreover
, by producing various goods that can be consumed the manufacturers can profit significantly.
However
, in the process of making the
products
Add a comma
,products
show examples
 there are chemicals
emitting
Wrong verb form
emitted
show examples
 into the air and rivers which will pollute the atmosphere and water.
In addition
, as the technology of inventing and updating electronic devices is improving, digital items are updated more and more quickly which cost numerous natural resources.
On the other hand
, there are some steps that can be taken to resolve these problems. Advertisings which persuade customers to buy things should be under supervision.
Also
, governments can broadcast some videos against consumerism, raising the awareness of the public.
Furthermore
, laws and regulations on the manufacturing industry should be created to protect the environment. To summarize, there is no doubt that producing consumer items can bring serious ecological damages. At the same time,
however
, governments, manufacturers and advertising enterprises can take measures to reduce the influences. In the final analysis, one can conclude that governments bear the main responsibility to protect the environment in
this
 kind of production.
Submitted by mengjia.ma on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • production
  • consumer goods
  • natural environment
  • damage
  • causes
  • overconsumption
  • demand
  • environmental regulations
  • enforcement
  • natural resources
  • industrial pollution
  • waste
  • inadequate
  • waste management practices
  • public awareness
  • education
  • sustainable alternatives
  • stricter environmental laws
  • recycling
  • responsible consumption
  • clean technologies
  • renewable energy
What to do next:
Look at other essays: