IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time.They believe this would benefit teenagers and the society.What is your opinion.Give reasons for your answer and include relevant examples from knowledge or experience

#people #teenagers #community #work #time #society
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Adolescence
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 persuaded to spend their leisure time doing
community
Use synonyms
 services as
this
Linking Words
 is thought to have
positive
Add an article
a positive
show examples
 effect on them and the
community
Use synonyms
 at large.I agree strongly with
this
Linking Words
 statement as it will impact the
teens
Change to a genitive case
teen's
teens'
show examples
life
Replace the word
living
show examples
 in a good way. Participating in
community
Use synonyms
 service without pay could help to keep teens busy as they are mostly preoccupied with gadgets
such
Linking Words
 as phones, computers and so on that they do not realize how much time they waste on
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
.Some are easily influenced by peer groups that they get distracted from their studies and find themselves partying and engaging in all sorts of negative activities
such
Linking Words
 as clubbing , pornography and drinking.
Also
Linking Words
,it is important to help adolescents see the need to participate in activities involving
community
Use synonyms
 development(
such
Linking Words
 as environmental cleaning, craft works,
caring
Correct word choice
and caring
show examples
 for the aged and dependent people)as
this
Linking Words
 will not only provide a better environment to live in
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but
also
Linking Words
 help them improve their skills and knowledge as
this
Linking Words
 may not be thought in the school curriculum vitae . It could
also
Linking Words
 give them a sense of satisfaction. In conclusion,they say a successful individual was not brought up by the parents alone but
also
Linking Words
 the society.It is
therefore
Linking Words
 important to assist the teens by making them see reasons why they should divert their energy into
community
Use synonyms
 work and development.
Submitted by agozie2018 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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