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Band 5

Money should be spent on creating new public buildings such as museums or town hall rather than renovating the existing ones. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#money #buildings #museums #town #hall #ones
It is true fact that funds should be spent on creating new
infrastructures
such
 as museums or town halls rather than renovating the existing ones. I am in the favour of latter notion to a larger extent and I will discuss the reasons in
further
 paragraphs. To commence with , in the cutting-edge era
individuals
 have no payment to make new
infrastructures
. The most effective reason is the increasing population day by day .
For instance
 , If the population level is increased so
masses
 have no opportunity for making
money
 and have
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
an extra source of income.
Hence
 , folks are not able to make new
infrastructures
 when they choose the path of renovating houses. ,
,
Change the punctuation
apply
show examples
Moreover
Add a comma
,Moreover
show examples
 another aspect is less education level among the
masses
 . For paradigm , modern generation is well educated but all the
individuals
 are not young generation among them some are senior citizens and not well educated . So they have no new idea about the making of new infrastructure .
On the other hand
 , making new infrastructure
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is a good idea so far as
individuals
 have created the new
infrastructures
Accordingly
 . For doing
this
 they have a crunch of
money
 and they made new Houses.
For instance
 , if
individuals
 do
this
 so
masses
 get many new opportunities to do work and made some
money
 .
Thus
 , it is very helpful for the
masses
 who's has no extra source of
money
 making. To sum up , in the present climate
individuals
 want to make new buildings rather than renovate the houses. It is good but renovating is the best way than making new
infrastructures
Submitted by godarashivam2 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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