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Band 4.5

Some people think government should focus on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems to help prevent illness and diseas. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

#people #government #focus #pollution #illness #diseas
With the advancement of
mankind
Add a comma
,mankind
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 difficulties have
also
 increased over
the
Correct article usage
apply
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time,
thus
 many
people
 advocate that the administrating bodies have a duty to help in the issues related to both environment and accommodation to have a healthy population. I strongly agree with
this
 thought. It has been witnessed that those leaders who have paid attention to
in
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apply
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reducing the environmental and housing problems are not just admired by their pupil but has contributed to the economic development and prosperous population. Bhutan is the epitome of success in
this
 scenario, where most of the
people
 survive much more than any other country and is
also
 the only county in the world
that is
 carbon negative. The subjects there are even said to be amongst the happiest
people
 on the planet.
Therefore
, since a government serves the citizens so it is the responsibility of the
Correct your spelling
government
governement
Correct your spelling
government
 to look after the
people
. Due to the
the
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apply
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development in
the
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apply
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recent
times
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,times
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 it has been encountered that less consideration is paid to the nature and the living condition of the crowd,
thus
 having a detrimental effect on the population, in turn, the quality of labour has deteriorated which has put a lot of pressure to import labours from other countries.
For instance
, there is a surge in the number of
people
 who are travelling to the USA from Africa and India, many of them take up brown-collar jobs as the labour wages are much higher due to scarcity of them. These
people
 often send back their earned money
instead
 of contributing to the country where they are employed,
thus
 having an economic side effect. To recapitulate, it is the responsibility of the government
provide
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to provide
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 a
pollution free
Add a hyphen
pollution-free
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 environment along with a shelter where citizens could live disease free
instead
 of squandering the public money on the stuff that will harmful effects on them.
Submitted by Fatima on

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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