IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Government should focus their spending on public services rather than arts such as music and painting. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#government #focus #services #arts #music
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
authority should prioritize their allocation to the public service
instead
Linking Words
 of Arts
such
Linking Words
 as
music
Use synonyms
 and Painting. I disagree with the above notion.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss why the Art
Industry
Use synonyms
 should be a top priority for funding. To start with, funding the entertainment
industry
Use synonyms
 especially the
music
Use synonyms
 sector will pave way for upcoming performers who are not financially buoyant to promote their songs.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, as
music
Use synonyms
 acts as a tool against societal vices, government funding will help in solving youth restiveness and give platforms for talent hunts, especially for those who are from poor backgrounds.
Also
Linking Words
,
music
Use synonyms
 can generate revenue both locally and internationally through shows, ticket and album sales if adequate funding is channelled into the sector. It is
also
Linking Words
 in order that government allocation is given to the public sector for the provision of basic amenities.
However
Linking Words
, emphasis on funding should go to the Arts, especially the painting
industry
Use synonyms
, which in turn will create massive awareness across the globe.
For example
Linking Words
, we have drawings placed in strategic places
such
Linking Words
 as museums, and cinemas for tourist attractions. These will automatically boost the country's foreign exchange. In conclusion, funding the public service with government allocation is a welcome idea.
However
Linking Words
, priority should be given to the arts section ,especially the
Music
Use synonyms
 and Painting
industry
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by agozie2018 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: