IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

The maps below show the changes that have taken place at Queen Mary Hospital since its construction in 1960. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

The maps below show the changes that have taken place at Queen Mary Hospital since its construction in 1960. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
#maps #show #changes #place #queen #mary #construction #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The maps depict the development of Queen Mary Hospital between 1960 and 2000.
Overall
, it should be clearly seen that Queen Mary Hospital changed from a mostly commercial
area
 to an
area
 with healthcare buildings. It is
also
 worth mentioning that
while
 the hospital,
the
Correct word choice
and the
show examples
 car park remained, a pharmacy, a cancer
centre
 and a nursing school
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 added over the period. In 1960, there
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 only a shopping
centre
, a hospital, a car park and
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
farmland.
However
, in 1980, the shopping
centre
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the West side of the
area
 was transformed into a cancer
centre
 and a pharmacy.
Likewise
, the farmland in the South-West of the
area
 was converted
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
 a Nursing school. In the following twenty years, the space of
cancer
Correct article usage
the cancer
show examples
centre
 which was located
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the West side of the
area
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
tripled. To the South-East of the
area
, the space of
car
Correct article usage
the car
show examples
 park was halved for the relocation of the nursing school.
Submitted by gac7077 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
▼
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words area, centre with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • infrastructural evolution
  • healthcare facilities
  • technological advancements
  • capacity expansion
  • modernization efforts
  • historical layout
  • landscape adaptation
  • access routes
  • renovation and improvement
  • initial structure
  • environmental considerations
What to do next:
Look at other essays: