IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

The government should allocate more funds to public services instead of wasting money on arts such as music, painting and so on. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give your own opinion.

#government #funds #services #money #arts #music
It is advisable for the authority to allocate more funds to public services
instead
 of lavishing money on artistic works
such
 as Music, painting and so on. I must say,
this
 is a very vital topic and I am in support of the government should show some concern for the civil servants by distributing enough cash to them
instead
 of investing in music, crafts and so on. It is very evident that majority of the public servants are suffering and it is difficult for most of them to have three square meals daily let alone cater for their entire household or sponsor their kids to school. Most law officials are struggling to live a decent life which is totally uncalled for.
For Instance
, some time ago around the end of July 2022. I encountered a lady who works in one of the local governments in my area and we got gisting, she was lamenting how the authority has refused to pay their salary for the past eight months now.
This
 was shocking, I could not believe what I was hearing and I asked, so, how have you been coping with going to work, feeding, and fending for your family as a whole? Her response was we thank God for the gift of life,
this
 was really disheartening and I kept wondering what excuses the ministry would have been giving to still keep them in service.
Although
, it is good to invest in nature and arts, in a situation, whereby the community would have to suffer due to failure in giving importance to what matters by the union has led to its people's unfavourable situation it's totally unacceptable. As
such
, it would be very pleasing if the regime could meet the needs of the nation
first
 before embarking on
such
 investment. I must say that situations like
this
 have led so many political officials into involving themselves in illegal deals, theft, Mismanagement of funds and not being proactive in their offices. In my opinion, I would say allowing enough funds to the public officials would be more satisfying and would
also
 boost the morale of all public employees to be more effective and efficient in their deliverables rather than unnecessary spending on investments.
Submitted by oruhblessing on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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