Some people believe that you should strictly control your children’s behaviour, while some others believe children should be free to choose their behaviour. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #control #children’s #behaviour #children

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Nowadays, some people often argued about whether

children

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's behaviour should be controlled by

parents

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or they can choose the behaviour by their own desire. As far as I am concerned, there are advantages on

both

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sides and

this

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essay will discuss

both

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views which can be given below.

First

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of all, one of the

first

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benefits for

parents

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should strictly their

children

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is to guide their attitude in the right manners.

This

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would mean that

children

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who are being guided by their

parents

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are more likely to have a strong conscience to tell what is right and wrong in every situation. The reason for

this

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is that they do not have any experience and knowledge about how to behave in the right manner.

For example

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, one of my friends from school who is always guided by his

parents

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is able to choose his friends who behave with the correct attitude rather than having friends who often disobey rules.

On the other hand

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, despite the advantages of being controlled, there are positive sides to letting

children

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decide their own behaviour.

Children

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are able to develop their personal abilities without any pressure from guardians or

parents

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This

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would mean that they would become independent and responsible, and provide an opportunity to become more mature in the future.

For instance

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, one of my co-workers is often getting a reward because of his good manners towards the boss. To sum up,

both

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views in

this

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argument have different benefits and it depends on people's opinions.

Therefore

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, people should consider

both

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arguments clearly which match them in the future.

Submitted by hendonhp27 on Fri Jul 29 2022

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

264 words

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Some people believe that you should strictly control your children’s behaviour, while some others believe children should be free to choose their behaviour. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

In many professional sports, the use of banned substances to enhance performance is on the rise. what are the causes and solutions.

Too much emphasis is given for education of the young children. Moregovernment money should be spent to free time activity of young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In a world increasingly driven by technology, to what extent do you agree that traditional art forms are losing their relevance? Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Students should pay their full cost for their own study, because university education benefits individuals rather than society.To what extent you agree or disagree?