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There are problems with the increasing popularity of shopping as a leisure activity. What forms do these take? Do the problems outweigh the benefits of shopping as a leisure activity?

#popularity #leisure #activity #forms #take
Past
Change preposition
In past
show examples
 years
people
 have started spending more
time
 shopping, which increased
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of malls and markets and increased the rate of production of goods.
This
 could lead to multiple collapses in economics and business and
environment
Replace the word
environmental
show examples
 pollution, and while it has some benefits for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society, I think that benefits do not overweigh
drawbacks
Correct article usage
the drawbacks
show examples
. Problems related
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 shopping could
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
Add an article
the harm
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harm
Replace the word
harmful
show examples
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the environment and investment bubbles. An absolute value of unrecycled waste correlates with
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 popularity of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
shopping.
For example
,
more
Correct word choice
if more
show examples
people
 buy plastic bags – more of them would not be recycled.
Therefore
, the production of different products will lead to more damage
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
an
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 environment due to increasing demand.
Moreover
, increased demand constructs unsustainable bubbles in economics which can blow up due to decreased demand.
For example
,
people
, who invested money will lose them,
consequently
Add a comma
,consequently
show examples
 many
people
 will lose their jobs and society will suffer from the collapse. There are benefits
from
Change preposition
to
show examples
 shopping simultaneously, but they do not overweigh
drawbacks
Correct article usage
the drawbacks
show examples
. Spending
time
 with friends or
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
family,
for instance
, is
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 main benefit of shopping.
However
,
time
 surrounded by
family
Add an article
the family
show examples
 could be spent
by
Change preposition
on
show examples
 different
ecofriendly
Correct your spelling
eco-friendly
show examples
 activities which
does
Change the verb form
do
show examples
 not construct business
collapse
Fix the infinitive
to collapse
show examples
 simultaneously like hiking or volunteering,
therefore
, society does not suffer from the ecological on
economical
Add an article
the economical
show examples
 crisis.
Thus
, environmental damage and
risk
Correct article usage
the risk
show examples
 of sustainability of the
economics
Replace the word
economy
show examples
 overweigh spending
time
 with family. In conclusion, shopping is a leisure activity
that is
 a normal leisure activity, which is a phantom menace for
people
 if it grows up.
Submitted by 2023gerasimov.la on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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