IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

A gift(such as camera, a soccer ball, or an animal) can contribute to a child's development. What gift would you give to help a child develop? Why? Use reasons and specific examples to support your choice.

#gift #camera #soccer #ball #child #development #support #choice
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
People learn and develop throughout their life. In today's
world
Add a comma
,world
show examples
 it is necessary to know how to
use
computer
 technology. If
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 were to give a gift to
child
Add an article
a child
show examples
 that would be
computer
Add an article
a computer
the computer
show examples
.
Computer
 plays an important role in
child's
Correct article usage
a child's
show examples
 mental development. In
following
Correct article usage
the following
show examples
 paragraphs
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 give reasons. At
first
Add a comma
,first
show examples
children
 can play a lot of mental games on
compuer
Correct your spelling
computer
computers
 that help them
making
Change the form of the verb
make
show examples
better
Add an article
a better
show examples
 decision, keeping patience.
Children
 can
use
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
 on the
computer
.
Internet
Add an article
The Internet
show examples
 has numerous
Correct your spelling
benefits
benifits
Correct your spelling
benefits
 in
Correct your spelling
today's
todays
Change to a genitive case
today's
show examples
 life. They can
use
 it to know about different countries, different cultures and travel destinations.
Children
 can
use
Add an article
the computer
a computer
show examples
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
show examples
 for educational purposes. They can do a no. of online courses in any field they want.
Children
 can
use
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
 to get resources for
Correct your spelling
their
the
thier
Correct your spelling
their
schools
Change the noun form
school
show examples
 projects.
Computer
Add an article
The computer
A computer
show examples
 has
also
 practical
benifits
Correct your spelling
benefits
.
Children
 can get their
first
 job on
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
. In
Correct your spelling
today's
today
todays
Change to a genitive case
today's
show examples
world
Add a comma
,world
show examples
 there are lot
Correct your spelling
of
og
Correct your spelling
of
 jobs in
computer
 programming for which people do not need to go
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
office
Add an article
the office
show examples
.
Children
 can work from home and enhance their skills for their future
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
. To sum up, I believe there is
immense
Add an article
an immense
show examples
 need to know how to
use
computer
Add an article
a computer
the computer
show examples
 because at every step there is technology. By knowing
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
show examples
children
 can
makes
Change the verb form
make
show examples
 their lives easy.
Submitted by ss8480864 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: