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Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some people believe that salary is the most important thing in a job. Others say the job itself is most important. What do you think is the most important aspect of a job? Include specific details and examples to support your choice.

#people #salary #job #aspect #support #choice
Nowadays, the most significant
factor
 of a
job
 has been the topical subject of debate. In
this
 regard, the opinions of the public
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 divided over whether a
salary
 is the most important thing or
job
Add an article
the job
show examples
 itself is. In
this
 essay, I will explore the rationale behind
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
 trend and conclude that achieving a goal through the
job
 is the most valuable
factor
.
To begin
 with, there is an appealing ground why the
salary
 is beneficial to the workers. Clearly, a lot of
people
 work because money is necessary for their living
such
 as for buying
a food
Remove the article
food
a portion of food
show examples
,
house
Correct article usage
a house
show examples
 and clothes. According to a recent survey, the majority of
salary
 men are spending approximately 80% of their monthly
salary
 to pay their costs of living.
Hence
,
this
 offers strong proof that earning money
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 financial support is a significant part of having a
job
. Despite the abovementioned views, I reckon that motivation for development through the
job
 is the upper-most valuable
factor
.
First
,
people
 seek to develop their personal goals to become a more professional individual which can make a better society.
For example
, a renowned architect Ando Tadao interviewed that his state-of-the-art technology would not have been possible if he had not
have
Change the verb form
had
show examples
 a purpose of social contribution.
Second
, many
people
 try to have more constant economic activities through their
job
 because they want to benefit the public for society.
Hence
, these shows that philosophical values
such
 as achieving a goal through the
job
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 the most valuable
factor
 when
people
 work. To sum up,
although
 earning a budget is necessary
in
Change the preposition
for
show examples
 a
job
, I contend that the motivation for improvement is the foremost value.
Submitted by eosmagic00 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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