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Band 4.5

Smart phones and other similar electronic gadgets have reduced the contact between friends. Discuss how far you agree with this statement.

#phones #gadgets #contact #friends
Over the past twenty years or so due to the increase of
smart
Correct your spelling
smartphones
show examples
phones
 and pads
such
 as
iphones
Correct your spelling
iPhones
phones
 and
ipads
Correct your spelling
pads
 have become more popular than ever before. Despite the fact that many users of sites
such
 as these consider that they can help them to keep in
touch
 with and to make new
friends
 , a considerable number of sociologists believe that the popularity of electronic
gadgets
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 actually reducing face-to-face
meetings
 as well
people’s
Correct word choice
as people’s
show examples
 abilities to socialize.
This
 essay will discuss the reasons why I believe that even though
Correct your spelling
smartphones
show examples
smart
Correct your spelling
smartphones
show examples
phones
 and pads
does
Change the verb form
do
show examples
 have some benefits,
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 overall effects are predominantly negative for many
user’s
Change to a plural noun
users’s
show examples
 to reduce the contact between
friends
.
Firstly
, it can be asserted that
although
people
 often use
iphones
Correct your spelling
phones
iPhones
 or
ipads
Correct your spelling
pads
 to keep in
touch
 with their
friends
,
this
 does not mean that they do not want to see their
friends
 face to face in
daily
Correct pronoun usage
their daily
show examples
 lives. One of the reasons for
this
 is that
Correct your spelling
smartphones
show examples
smart
Correct your spelling
smartphones
show examples
phones
 can help them to keep in
touch
 with their
friends
.
For example
, using the apps
such
 as Instagram and skype is significant for
people
 to get along with their
friends
.
In addition
, many apps
such
 as line or telegram,
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can arguably increase the friend network. Another pertinent argument is that
Correct your spelling
smartphones
show examples
smart
Correct your spelling
smartphones
show examples
phones
 can be frequently helpful for making new
friends
.
For instance
,
facebook
Change the capitalization
Facebook
show examples
 is widespread on
Correct your spelling
smartphones
show examples
smart
Correct your spelling
smartphones
show examples
phones
 for
people
 to search for new
friends
 who are in the same interests.
However
, when it comes to the popularity of electronic
gadgets
, it has been argued that they are actually reducing face-to-face
meetings
 as well
people’s
Correct word choice
as people’s
show examples
 abilities to socialize. One of the reasons for
this
 is that electronic
gadgets
 can usually reduce face-to-face
meetings
such
 as
school
Change preposition
at school
show examples
 and work.
For example
, if one who is addicting to use electronic
gadgets
, it is
easily
Replace the word
easy
show examples
 to
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
lack
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
face-to-face
meetings
. Another important observation is that electronic
gadgets
 can arguably decrease
people
’s abilities to socialize.
For instance
,
people
 cannot
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
foster a sense of responsibility for teamwork, even
they
Correct word choice
if they
show examples
 cannot have important leadership
ability
Fix the agreement mistake
abilities
show examples
 in real life. In conclusion, it has been claimed that even though
smart
Correct your spelling
smartphones
show examples
phones
 and pads
does
Correct subject-verb agreement
do
show examples
 have some benefits
such
 as keeping in
touch
 with and making new
friends
, I
Add the comma(s)
, therefore,
show examples
therefore
 believe that
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 overall effects are undoubtedly negative for many
user’s
Change to a plural noun
users’s
show examples
 to reduce the contact between
friends
.
Submitted by jackson05234 on

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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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