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Band 5

Everybody should donate a fixed amount of their income to support charity.’ How far do you share this viewpoint?

#everybody #amount #income #support #charity
Recessions provoke poverty increasing in whole over the world that
result
Wrong verb form
resulting
show examples
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
charities
try
Wrong verb form
trying
show examples
 to collect money to help poor
people
. It seems to me that participating in
charities
 will have astonishing effects on
society
, and I will explain why in
this
 essay.
Firstly
, remitting a part of income to
NGO
Fix the agreement mistake
NGOs
show examples
 causes the clemency property increase in
society
. It means that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
people
 always remember that there are many destitutions that live around them, so they should help them.
For example
, many homeless live in suburban,
therefore
 riches will not see them and forget them. A
second
 factor is that, when families undertake to contribute, they will pay more attention to their children’s training to extend
this
 issue. In other
word
Fix the agreement mistake
words
show examples
, parents teach children to be responsible
about
Change preposition
for
show examples
 needy
people
.
For instance
, children will understand,
it
Correct word choice
that it
show examples
 is their duty to help their friends or classmates to solve their problems at school.
Finally
, cooperation with
charities
 can promote to
rise
Correct your spelling
raise
show examples
 hope and pleasure among the
people
. Indeed, when we help a needful person, it results in,
we
Correct pronoun usage
us
show examples
feel
Wrong verb form
feeling
show examples
 satisfaction and continent.
Consequently
, depredates will not think they are worthless.
For example
,
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
paying attention to handicaps can be present in
society
 and
find
Wrong verb form
finding
show examples
job
Add an article
a job
show examples
, so they will be optimistic about their future. It is true that some believe it is
Correct article usage
the governments
show examples
governments
Change noun form
government's
show examples
 duty to support
charities
. Despite
this
, it seems that all the countries do not have rich and powerful governments, so all
people
 should take
apart
Correct your spelling
part
show examples
 in
this
 issue. To conclude, magnanimity property rising, having supportive children and hopeful humans are benefits of participating in NGO.
This
 is not to say just governments are responsible
about
Change preposition
for
show examples
charities
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because all the
people
 live in a
society
 and have
effect
Add an article
an effect
show examples
 on each other lives.
Submitted by TUTOO on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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