IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Families who send their children to private schools should not be required to pay taxes that support the state education system. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#families #children #schools #taxes #support #education #system
It is believed by some that parents who have their children educated in private institutions should not be asked to support the public
Correct your spelling
education
show examples
edu cation
Correct your spelling
education
show examples
system
 by paying taxes. From my perspective, I completely disagree with the viewpoints. One main problem which might arise from the issue is that it would be hard to calculate the number of funds which the government used to support the educational
system
. In order to exempt those families from the
tax
 which is spent on
education
, government staff can find it extremely difficult and time-consuming to proceed
such
Change preposition
with such
show examples
process
Correct article usage
a process
show examples
, and can even
further
 encumber the government's burden.
In addition
, supporting public
education
 can be conducive to society as many talents can be cultivated through
education
 and contribute to their professions in the future. Many doctors, scientists as well as scholars were receiving the
education
 offered by the state
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
later
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
made an exceptional contribution to the world and providing precious knowledge. It is clear to envisage that if these budgets spent on the
education
system
 are curtailed or cancelled, many of the outstanding figures might have been stifled and lost their chance to
benefit
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society. Some who stand on the opposite side might assert that it is unnecessary for people to pay
tax
 on
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 subject that they will never need
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
or
benefit
 from it.
However
, the truth is, an array of public structions or projects that one might never need still depend on the fund of
tax
, and
undiablely
Correct your spelling
underbelly
, it is those progress that made people’s lives better and easier. National Defense,
for example
, some might argue that they will never
benefit
 from it;
thus
 purchasing weapons and recruiting specialities would squander the resources.
However
, evidently, it is the national defence which ensures the safety of its citizens from the invasion and attack of other entities. Though one will not
benefit
 directly from it, it is still an indispensable part of
tax
 expense. In conclusion, I disagree with the viewpoint that families who have their children received private
education
 have no obligation to support the public
education
system
 through
tax
, as people might overlook the implication and function of the
system
.
Submitted by erichappykimo on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • tax exemption
  • public education
  • private schools
  • collective responsibility
  • societal welfare
  • equitable access
  • financial burden
  • social cohesion
  • tax credits
  • vouchers
  • subsidies
  • state-funded
  • socioeconomic disparities
  • public vs. private sector
  • quality of education
What to do next:
Look at other essays: