“Some people think that Government should take measures to improve the health of its citizens. Others think it must be managed by individuals. Discuss both views and give your opinion”

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It is true that in today's scenario, the epidemic diseases increase day by day and
individuals
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face many problems
However
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segment of society opine that authorities must take measures to enhance the medical
care
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of its citizens Whereas rest of masses believe that it should be managed by youngster personally I favour former conviction .let us delve both
perspective
Change to a plural noun
perspectives
show examples
with relevant example and conclusion To commence with ,
Firstly
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, the government should improve the
health
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care
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of the
individuals
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As a result
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the spreading of diseases will
decreased
Change the verb form
decrease
be decreased
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and they get disease free environment
moreover
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poverty-stricken people get better medical
care
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so they can improve their lifestyle.
Secondly
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, the authority should provide free
health
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care
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to their citizens so that everyone get treatment on time . An example, the Indian law
provide
Change the verb form
provides
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leisure
health
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care
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during
corona
Correct article usage
the corona
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pandemic
Additionally
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, they
also
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provide free vaccination to their masses and
also
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in institutions .
Further
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, they
also
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organise some seminars regarding
health
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care
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so that youngsters must aware of their
health
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. On other hand,
first
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and foremost, if government improve
health
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care
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so other sectors of society lead behind and
also
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have some economic problems.
Furthermore
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, if
individuals
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focus on their
health
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, so low maker should be bemused on the education sector , transport sector and so on. Another striking point is,
,
Change the punctuation
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
individuals
Correct word choice
that individuals
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start
concentration
Replace the word
concentrating
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on their
health
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and they start
exercise
Wrong verb form
exercising
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in their daily routine ,
for example
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, most
individuals
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strat
Correct your spelling
start
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do
Wrong verb form
doing
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online exercise to see videos on YouTube which help them to become physically fit as well as
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
improve their healthy diet . In conclusion , according to my point of ,view lawmakers should improve
health
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care
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because every individual can not able to afford
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
experience
medical
Change preposition
of medical
show examples
care
Use synonyms
, so government should organise some seminars
hence
Linking Words
, poor people are
also
Linking Words
aware of their
health
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by navroopkaur600 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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