“Some people think that Government should take measures to improve the health of its citizens. Others think it must be managed by individuals. Discuss both views and give your opinion”

It is true that in today's scenario, the epidemic diseases increase day by day and
individuals
face many problems
However
segment of society opine that authorities must take measures to enhance the medical
care
of its citizens Whereas rest of masses believe that it should be managed by youngster personally I favour former conviction .let us delve both
perspective
Change to a plural noun
perspectives
show examples
with relevant example and conclusion To commence with ,
Firstly
, the government should improve the
health
care
of the
individuals
As a result
the spreading of diseases will
decreased
Change the verb form
decrease
be decreased
show examples
and they get disease free environment
moreover
poverty-stricken people get better medical
care
so they can improve their lifestyle.
Secondly
, the authority should provide free
health
care
to their citizens so that everyone get treatment on time . An example, the Indian law
provide
Change the verb form
provides
show examples
leisure
health
care
during
corona
Correct article usage
the corona
show examples
pandemic
Additionally
, they
also
provide free vaccination to their masses and
also
in institutions .
Further
, they
also
organise some seminars regarding
health
care
so that youngsters must aware of their
health
. On other hand,
first
and foremost, if government improve
health
care
so other sectors of society lead behind and
also
have some economic problems.
Furthermore
, if
individuals
focus on their
health
, so low maker should be bemused on the education sector , transport sector and so on. Another striking point is,
,
Change the punctuation
apply
show examples
individuals
Correct word choice
that individuals
show examples
start
concentration
Replace the word
concentrating
show examples
on their
health
and they start
exercise
Wrong verb form
exercising
show examples
in their daily routine ,
for example
, most
individuals
strat
Correct your spelling
start
show examples
do
Wrong verb form
doing
show examples
online exercise to see videos on YouTube which help them to become physically fit as well as
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
improve their healthy diet . In conclusion , according to my point of ,view lawmakers should improve
health
care
because every individual can not able to afford
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
experience
medical
Change preposition
of medical
show examples
care
, so government should organise some seminars
hence
, poor people are
also
aware of their
health
.
Submitted by navroopkaur600 on

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
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  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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