Museums and art galleries should focus on works that show the history and culture of their own country rather than works of other parts of the world. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In the entire
world
Add a comma
,world
show examples
we have symbols of our ancient which have been protecting from them on museums. Some people believe they have a priority target only on their
profession
Replace the word
professional
show examples
product which is produced in their own society in spite
focus
Change preposition
of focus
show examples
on foreign country's art. I believe we have to
defence
Replace the word
defend
show examples
both of them and I want to explain why in the
next
two
principle
Change to a plural noun
principles
show examples
.
Firstly
, Some of them are handsel that other nations gave to us.
For instance
, in
Iran
Add a comma
,Iran
show examples
we have lots of gifts from other countries which they donated to our king as
preciate
Correct your spelling
appreciate
and thankful or because of a ceremony. In ,
fact
Add an article
the fact
a fact
show examples
they are gifts and demonstrate to us how important we were to another country and showcase the tradition of their people.
Secondly
, In my view, Inside all art includes its artist's passion and intellectual, unique mind, and
also
worth which we have
responsibility
Add an article
a responsibility
the responsibility
show examples
to conserve all the arts even if they aren't for ours.
For example
, yesterday I visited a royal place in Niavaran Tehran and in the art
gallery
Add a comma
,gallery
show examples
I saw a beautiful work of the reputiutial artist (Picasso) which was really astonishing
paint
Replace the word
painted
show examples
and donate to Reza shah in 1962.
On the contrary
,
Somebody
Correct pronoun usage
Some
show examples
thinks focusing
and
Change preposition
on and
show examples
protecting foreign land need spending a lot of human power and money. in
Correct your spelling
conclusion
cunclusion
Correct your spelling
conclusion
, I want to restate
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
my opinion that all arts have worth inner and if they were
Add an article
a gift
show examples
gift
Fix the agreement mistake
gifts
show examples
from other country show us historical value, So not only do we
have
Add the particle
tohave
show examples
assist
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
them but
also
we should
preciate
Correct your spelling
appreciate
that because of their importance to us.
Submitted by aidalizade1 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • National Identity
  • Cultural Heritage
  • Cultural Exchange
  • Inclusive
  • Exclusive
  • Preservation
  • Conservation
  • Educational Value
  • Tourism
  • Global Harmony
  • Cultural Exclusivity
  • Economic Growth
  • Heritage
  • Enrich
  • Foster
What to do next:
Look at other essays: