Some people say that teenagers should work part-time and earn money. This way they will learn basic lessons about work and become more disciplined. Others argue that teenagers shouldn't sacrifice their rest and after-school activities to work, Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #teenagers #work #money #lessons #shouldn #sacrifice #rest #activities

Some cases show some people consider part-time work and earning

money

is an excellent idea for

teenagers

to be learned and become responsible individuals in society meanwhile, some other men and women opine working for the teenager will lose the time of resting and after

school

project.

To begin

with, a part-time

job

is a proper strategy for the person who has major activity and still has time to earn some

money

. Students are great examples of

this

manner especially

teenagers

. Students mostly are spending 6-8 hours in

school

and after that, there is a period of time that they can do some out-

school

activities like a part-time

job

. When

teenagers

earn

money

at a young age, the belief shows how it is hard to earn

money

and never waste it, will be happened in their mind.

In addition

, working as a member of society even working at a part-time

job

mounts responsibility, expertise, and experience in

this

manner.

Furthermore

, the most crucial thing is it might be the light for discovering their own talents.

However

, they should never forget to not take things in their stride which can have serious consequences on their lives. Schools are meant to be the

first

and most suitable places for children to become responsible, literate, and achieve scientific information. After

school

, there is a lot of homework and lessons exit to take care

Change preposition

of.

show examples

Involving in a part-time

job

may postpone after-

school

activities which makes

school

lessons worst. According to recent studies,

teenagers

who were contributing to a part-time

job

illustrated weaker physical and mental conditions than did those without a part-time

job

This

definitely will be harmful to the health and major activities of

teenagers

. Taken together, it is believed juveniles have the opportunity to become responsible and expert people like adult individuals only with involving in a part-time

job

Although

, some consequences are inevitable. I believed

teenagers

with an appropriate long-term plan, can get through

school

, entertainment, rest and work altogether.

Submitted by TUTOO on Sun Jul 31 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

329 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7.5
band
We cannot help everyone in the world that needs help, so we should only be concerned with our own communities and countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
In general, it is believed that individuals should not be concerned about changes unless they are unlikely to have a major impact on their lives. There is, however, a need for individuals to have a thorough understanding of the events occurring in foreign countries. Having a basic understanding of global events is essential for nations to be able to provide assistance to one another and find solutions to their own problems.
5.5
band
Cramming and immersion are becomingly increasingly recognised methods of gaining knowledge in an area, other people disagree and say that only through lifelong learning can a subject be learnt. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Use specific reasons and examples to support your position.
While many people believe that cramming and immersion methods of learning are the most effective ones to learn a language or skill, other people claim that becoming dominant in merely available through lifelong; however, I hold the conviction that mixing both methods can work more influentially.
7.5
band
Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?
It is widely held that visitors should be charged for admission to museums. However, this policy is both a curse and a blessing. In my opinion, the benefits of charging visitors to the museums outweigh the drawbacks.
5.5
band
in some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studied
One of the most discussed matters these days is that in several countries the younger populace is inspired to either work or travel for a year between graduating high school and starting university surveys. There are both benefits and drawbacks to such a choice which the following essay will discuss.
6
band
One of the widely discussed issues nowadays is liberation in thoughts. Now people are beginning to realize that freedom of speech is vital important for society. In my opinion, I tend to agree with that sentence.
One of the widely discussed issues nowadays is liberation in thoughts. Now people are beginning to realize that freedom of speech is vital important for society. In my opinion, I tend to agree with that sentence.

Some people say that teenagers should work part-time and earn money. This way they will learn basic lessons about work and become more disciplined. Others argue that teenagers shouldn't sacrifice their rest and after-school activities to work, Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

We cannot help everyone in the world that needs help, so we should only be concerned with our own communities and countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Cramming and immersion are becomingly increasingly recognised methods of gaining knowledge in an area, other people disagree and say that only through lifelong learning can a subject be learnt. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Use specific reasons and examples to support your position.

Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?

in some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studied

One of the widely discussed issues nowadays is liberation in thoughts. Now people are beginning to realize that freedom of speech is vital important for society. In my opinion, I tend to agree with that sentence.