Some people think that the government is responsible for the rise in childhood obesity, while others think it is the fault of the parents. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#people #government #rise #childhood #obesity #fault #parents

Over the

last

century, there has been a significant increase in

children

that suffer

obesity

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from obesity

show examples

and related health problems. Some people state that

this

issue comes from the wrong management in health administration sectors from governments, whilst others believe that

parents

are responsible. In

this

essay I will explain both points of view and why I consider that

parents

have the main responsibility. On the one hand, one of government health

officers

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officers'

officer's

show examples

main

Change the article

the main

show examples

job

Fix the agreement mistake

jobs

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is to educate societies in terms of generating healthy habits and promoting good nutrition facts.

Furthermore

; they are expected to introduce

these knowledge

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this knowledge

show examples

in schools and clubs for the young ones, so

children

can learn from early years the importance of sports and having a healthy diet.

For example

, every Saturday in Queensland there is a Fun Run for Kids, where the council organises different

sport

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sports

show examples

activities and provides healthy snacks for

children

. Implementing those activities helps to fight against

children

Replace the word

childhood

show examples

obesity

On the other hand

parents

are the main educators of their

children

and the ones that organise their diet and sport related activities.

Moreover

; kids tend to grow up imitating their

parents

, so it is expected that they will

also

mimic what they eat and how much sport they do.

For example

, recent studies from Harvard showed that

children

with athletic

parents

are 85% likely to have a healthy life, whilst 60% of

children

that grow

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up in

show examples

sedentary environments are expected to suffer from

obesity

. In conclusion, whilst expert people from governments can promote and help

parents

to create healthy

rutines

Correct your spelling

routines

and meals for their

children

, I believe that families are the

Correct your spelling

responsible

responsibles

Correct your spelling

responsible

Change preposition

for

show examples

making it happen and teaching the young ones why it is important to follow good habits, in order to avoid

obesity

Submitted by a.carrrollitt on Mon Aug 01 2022

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

291 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that the government is responsible for the rise in childhood obesity, while others think it is the fault of the parents. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In the developed world, average life expectancy is increasing. What problems will this cause for individuals and society? Suggest some measures that could be taken to reduce the impact of ageing populations.

With the help of technology, students nowadays can learn more information and learn it more quickly. Do you agree or disagree with the statement?

some people think that we should invent a new languge for international communication . Will the benefits of this outweigh th problems associated with it

The practice of illegally hunting wild animals continues to cause concern in many countries, particularly developing countries. What are the causes of such hunting? What are the effects on the animals, and on the wider human society in these countries and beyond?

Some people say that now we can see films on our phones or tablets there is no need to go to the cinema. Others say that to be fully enjoyed, films need to be seen in a cinema. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion?