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Band 1

Some people thnk that money is one of the most essential factors in promoting happiness. Do you think people can be happy without much money? What factors contribute towards happiness?

#people #thnk #money #factors #happiness
The diagram
show
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shows
show examples
thaht
Correct your spelling
that
 how
instand
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instant
noodles
 are produced in
manufacture
Wrong verb form
manufacturing
show examples
. Overall, it can divide
three
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into three
show examples
 main parts of manufacturing
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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flour mixing , producing and
labeling
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labelling
show examples
. All
if
Correct your spelling
of
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
first
, the flour in the storage silos
go
Correct subject-verb agreement
goes
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 to the mixer.
Then
 combined water and oil will combine with flour.
In below
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Below
show examples
 the mixer there is a
rollers
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roller
show examples
 that made flours into dough sheets. After
that
Add a comma
,that
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 the sheets change into dough strips and
cut
Add a missing verb
are cut
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 .
Then
noodles
 discs
made
Add a missing verb
are made
show examples
 and these
noodles
 will be
cooking
Wrong verb form
cooked
show examples
 and
drying
Wrong verb form
dried
show examples
. After that,
noodles
 will get into cups with vegetables and spices. All
og
Correct your spelling
of
 the
last
, the cups with
noodles
Correct your spelling
will
well
wll
Correct your spelling
will
 labelling and
sealing
Wrong verb form
sealed
show examples
.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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