The student who study from the school to university get benefit less and contribute less too, than those of student who go to travel or job and get skills and experience before going high. Do you agree or disagree?

In the
last
twenty years, education development has been one of the human issues that take a lot of attention. Some people believe that studying or working on board will create more opportunities to have more abilities and social skills. I agree with
this
opinion because each student can make
surprisingly
Correct pronoun usage
it surprisingly
show examples
beneficial for where they were born and easily have a job as they want. To commence, I think it is useful for youngsters to take up a job or learn outside their country they are energetic and enthusiastic enough to experience new things. Most of them are
also
adventurous so they can take lots of chances to travel, and discover the difference in each nation’s economy or culture. The result will appear in the high levels range of their knowledge or social sensitivity.
For example
, the national economy can be considerably improved by those who come back from great countries which have special positions at the top of the most developed nations like the United States, England, etc... There is always a truth that every company always wants to make more money without paying much money for the high number of employees so having great workers with sufficient experience and skills will solve the problem.
This
point can be explained by some big companies in Vietnam which have qualified staff that can earn an incredible of cash each year.
This
is because they utilized modern technology which
come
Correct subject-verb agreement
comes
show examples
from overseas students who study hard for many years. If it didn’t happen, a small country like Vietnam couldn’t as be it is now. In conclusion, I accepted that those who study from school to university have less contribution compared to those who study or work abroad.
This
is due to they can boost their country's economy and have respect from
well known
Add a hyphen
well-known
show examples
companies.
Submitted by domaianh.uliser on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: