In some countries, governments encourage businesses to move outside of the cities to solve the problems of housing and transport in the cities. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this policy?

Governing bodies of many nations motivate the relocation of commercial activities to remote places as a solution to the lack of
accomodations
Correct your spelling
accommodations
accommodation
and means of transport in urban areas.
This
essay will examine the positivities
such
as
emergence
Add an article
the emergence
show examples
of new opportunities and the decrease of potential competitors
as well as
negativities
such
like
Change preposition
as
show examples
deficiency
Correct article usage
the deficiency
show examples
of customers and unavailability of modern digital facilities. The most
iportant
Correct your spelling
important
benefit of moving businesses to villages is it can create fresh business prospects.New ideas are
therefore
possible to
make
Verb problem
put
show examples
into practice by considering the
scarsed
Correct your spelling
scared
sacred
needs of people
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
in
such
places.
Submitted by tlakshani005 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
To improve your score in task achievement, the essay must fully respond to the question prompt, providing a balanced discussion of both advantages and disadvantages. You initiated the discussion of advantages but did not develop enough points to create a comprehensive response, nor did you address the disadvantages.
Coherence and Cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, ensure that your essay follows a logical structure with clearly defined paragraphs that each address a single main point. Introductions and conclusions are key components that should encapsulate the essence of the essay. The conclusion is entirely missing; hence, the score cannot be high.
Task Achievement
While the introduction mentions both advantages and disadvantages, the body of the essay only begins to address advantages. A complete response would require a corresponding paragraph discussing the disadvantages, supported by specific examples, to meet IELTS standards for task achievement.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay lacks coherence due to the absence of a clear progression of ideas, missing a conclusion, and not expanding on the given points. Main points are not supported with specific examples. For better cohesion, use linking words and phrases to connect sentences and paragraphs, and develop each point with examples and explanations.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Urban congestion
  • Economic spillover
  • Population density
  • Infrastructure development
  • Rural areas
  • Quality of life
  • Commuting challenges
  • Job dissatisfaction
  • Significant investment
  • Uneven development
  • Business-centric
  • Housing crisis
  • Transport issues
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!