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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people spend most of their lives living close to where they were born. What might be the reasons for this? What are the advantages and disadvantages?

#people #lives
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Surprisingly, many
people
Use synonyms
 prefer to stay in the
neighborhood
Change the spelling
neighbourhood
show examples
 where they were born for the rest of their lives. That spending most of the
time
Use synonyms
 living in the same area allows
people
Use synonyms
 to be familiar
to
Change preposition
with
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 the places and provides convenience;
however
Linking Words
, they need to trade off these advantages with the number of times spent on travelling and limited
opportunity
Fix the agreement mistake
opportunities
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 in career. One of the key advantages
for
Change preposition
of
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 spending most
time
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 living in the
town
Change noun form
town's
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 nearby birthplace is familiarity
in
Change preposition
with
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 those areas which
offers
Correct subject-verb agreement
offer
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people
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to
Fix the infinitive
apply
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have
convenient
Add an article
a convenient
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 lifestyle. Knowing all the key facilities – restaurants, markets, pharmacies.
People
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 can easily decide which one to visit in order to feel satisfied and which way to commute to those places for saving
time
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. Many recent studies found that the more
time
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people
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 spent residing in the same community, the more convenient and
happiness
Replace the word
happy
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 their life
are
Change the verb form
is
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.
In addition
Linking Words
, many elders were found to spend most of their life living in the same accommodation because they are afraid to be in
the
Correct article usage
an
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 area where they are not familiar
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are several disadvantages to locating in home city.
Firstly
Linking Words
, it is undeniable that
people
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 need to change their frequent place of visit as they grow up and those places are inevitably far from their residence, resulting in more transportation
time
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. To illustrate, one
need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
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 to spend over four hours per day
on
Change preposition
apply
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commuting to their workplace, since their home is far.
Moreover
Linking Words
, limited types of careers are offered in the town,
results
Wrong verb form
resulting
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 in less choice for
people
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 to get their career of interest.
In other words
Linking Words
, the job positions available
for
Change preposition
in
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countryside
Correct article usage
the countryside
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 are far
more
Change the word
apply
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less than
variety
Add an article
a variety
the variety
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 of
jobs
Change the noun form
job
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 opportunities available in urban cities. To sum up, while choosing to live in
the
Correct article usage
a
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neighborhood
Change the spelling
neighbourhood
show examples
 near
birthplace
Correct pronoun usage
their birthplace
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 can offer
Correct article usage
a favorable
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favorable
Change the spelling
favourable
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 lifestyle,
people
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 can lose
time
Use synonyms
 for transportation and job opportunities. With many factors to be considered,
people
Use synonyms
 should think wisely about their location of living.
Submitted by niewnattha on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Familiarity
  • Comfort
  • Social ties
  • Family ties
  • Belonging
  • Resources
  • Opportunities
  • Fear
  • Unknown
  • Financial constraints
  • Cultural attachment
  • Language barriers
  • Limited education
  • Skills
What to do next:
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