The growing number of overweight people is putting a strain on the health care system in an effort to deal with the health issues involved. Some people think that the best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical education lesions in the school curriculum. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #strain #health #care #system #effort #education #lesions #school #curriculum

Obesity and being overweight is

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increasingly worrying concern for people worldwide, especially in the younger population. While many people believe that physical education in the school setting,

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apply

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is not the only factor in helping children control their

weight

This

essay argues that physical education along with other factors

such

good

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as good

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sleep and proper diet can help remedy

weight

problems in kids today. Having an active lifestyle is one of the key aspects

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having a healthy body. Proper

exercise

thirty minutes a day for at least three times a week can greatly reduce

weight

, as well as helping muscles grow and

keeping

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keep

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the heart in good shape. Having

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activities

activites

Correct your spelling

activities

school

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schools

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such

as basketball, football, or tennis helps to keep the child active, and provides

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motivation

motiviation

Correct your spelling

motivation

by having other students play with them. While having adequate

exercise

is indeed important

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for

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the overall health of a person,

this

is not the only thing needed for an individual to lose

weight

. A balanced and proper diet is a critical aspect

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show examples

keeping one's

weight

in check.

For instance

, a person who exercises daily, but still eats heavy meals along with snacks in between will have a hard time getting fit. Another thing needed is good sleep, as things

such

as stress and fatigue can lead to increased food intake, as well as decreased motivation to

exercise

. In conclusion,

exercise

is vital in helping children get fit, particularly in the school setting;

however

, a balanced diet and good sleeping habits are

also

needed in order to get fit. The essay described why physical education is not the only thing needed to remedy the problem of obesity.

Submitted by kennethlim925 on Mon Aug 01 2022

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

276 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Young people who commit crimes should be treated in the same way as adults who commit crimes. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fast food is a part of life in many places. Some people think this has bad effects on lifestyle and diet. Do you agree or disagree?

People find it very difficult to speak in public or to give a presentation before an audience. Do you think public speaking skill is really important? Give reasons. Some people say public speaking should be taught at school. Do you agree or disagree?

Many universities graduates cannot find a job in their chosen profession what factors may have caused this situation and what in your opinion should be care about it?