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Writing Samples
Band 5

The growing number of overweight people is putting a strain on the health care system in an effort to deal with the health issues involved. Some people think that the best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical education lesions in the school curriculum. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #strain #health #care #system #effort #education #lesions #school #curriculum
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Obesity and being overweight is
a
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an
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 increasingly worrying concern for people worldwide, especially in the younger population. While many people believe that physical education in the school setting,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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is not the only factor in helping children control their
weight
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.
This
Linking Words
 essay argues that physical education along with other factors
such
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good
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as good
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 sleep and proper diet can help remedy
weight
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 problems in kids today. Having an active lifestyle is one of the key aspects
in
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of
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 having a healthy body. Proper
exercise
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 thirty minutes a day for at least three times a week can greatly reduce
weight
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, as well as helping muscles grow and
keeping
Wrong verb form
keep
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 the heart in good shape. Having
Correct your spelling
activities
activites
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activities
 in
school
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schools
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such
Linking Words
 as basketball, football, or tennis helps to keep the child active, and provides
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motivation
motiviation
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motivation
 by having other students play with them. While having adequate
exercise
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 is indeed important
in
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for
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 the overall health of a person,
this
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 is not the only thing needed for an individual to lose
weight
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. A balanced and proper diet is a critical aspect
in
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of
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 keeping one's
weight
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 in check.
For instance
Linking Words
, a person who exercises daily, but still eats heavy meals along with snacks in between will have a hard time getting fit. Another thing needed is good sleep, as things
such
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 as stress and fatigue can lead to increased food intake, as well as decreased motivation to
exercise
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. In conclusion,
exercise
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 is vital in helping children get fit, particularly in the school setting;
however
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, a balanced diet and good sleeping habits are
also
Linking Words
 needed in order to get fit. The essay described why physical education is not the only thing needed to remedy the problem of obesity.
Submitted by kennethlim925 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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