IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Behaviour and lifestyles vary from country to country. Some people believe that visitors to other countries should follow local customs and behaviour. Do you agree or disagree?

Variations in behaviour and lifestyle differentiate
one
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country
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 from another.
Due to
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this
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 very
reason
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reason,
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 tourism has increased over the past decades. Some people opine that tourists should behave
accordingly
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 to the customs
as well as
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 traditions of the host
country
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. I, too, agree with the belief.
This
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 essay intends to discuss my views in the forthcoming paragraphs.
To begin
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 with, there are many points in favour of my stance. The most preponderant
one
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 is that behaving as per the local traditions reduces the chances of misunderstanding and embarrassment.
For instance
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, asking about pay is considered rude in the UK but is quite common in India. So, if an Indian knows about
this
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 beforehand, he can be saved from being embarrassed.
Therefore
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, it is important to behave
as per
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according to
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 the local tradition. Probing ahead, the main motive for people to travel is to widen their horizons . By familiarising himself with the customs of the
country
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one
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 is travelling to, he will be able to gain much knowledge about the nation.
For example
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, travelling to a culture-rich
country
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 like Japan will make the person more knowledgeable about the behaviours of the citizens and
thus
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 spread the information to
one
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's near and dear and
also
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helping
Wrong verb form
help
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 the locals to know the
country
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 better through the person. In conclusion, there is a popular idiom which goes as In
Rome
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Rome,
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 do what the Romans do. So, following the touring
country
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's traditions will help a person in many ways
from
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, from
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 being saved from embarrassment to gaining wider knowledge about an exotic
country
Use synonyms

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overall
Make your view clear in the intro and keep it steady in all paragraphs.
development
Add one more strong example or detail to back each point.
cohesion
Use simple links to show how ideas go together (for example, 'also', 'but', 'so').
grammar
Check grammar and fix mistakes like pronoun use and plural form.
task response
Clear position is stated.
structure
Essay uses a four paragraph layout with an ending.
idea quality
Some good ideas on why locals matter.
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