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Band 4

City living in the 21st century is stressful and offers no advantage. To what extent do you agree or disagree to this statement.

#city #st #century #advantage
In the 21st
century
Add a comma
,century
show examples
 everything's moving fast. Especially in our lifetime, we're living in the age of technological transformation. We're so copped by the advance of the technologies that it
also
 changes the way we live and work. From computers to smartphones. And that
kinds
Fix the agreement mistake
kind
show examples
 of advancement
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 shown especially in big
cities
. Big
cities
 are surely more adaptable
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
kind
 of technology because
this
 is where the businesses
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 taking place. When you prefer living there, more likely that's where you
also
 make your living. And there's no doubt that all the businesses
also
 taking advantage of
this
kind
 of advancement.
For example
,
people
 in big
cities
 tend to use
Fix the agreement mistake
mail
show examples
mails
Correct your spelling
emails
show examples
 and other social media
platform
Fix the agreement mistake
platforms
show examples
 to connect with each other even when they are located in the same building because it is proven that's faster because you don't have to move and
wasting
Wrong verb form
waste
show examples
time
 by walking to the location of the person you want to connect with. And companies
also
 encourage or even expect their employee to
this
 way of working. Because it means that their employee will have more
time
 to work on other important things that
makes
Change the verb form
make
show examples
provit
Correct your spelling
profit
. After all, that
kind
 of expectation
already
Add a missing verb
is already
show examples
 being normalized in
21st
Change the article
the 21st
show examples
 century and they will call it
Correct your spelling
efficient
efficients
Correct your spelling
efficient
 and effective. But in smaller
cities
Add a comma
,cities
show examples
people
are tend
Change the verb form
tend
show examples
 to connect with
people
 face to face rather than
relying
Add the preposition
onrelying
uponrelying
show examples
this
kind
 of technology. That's why the
people
 in smaller
cities
are tend
Change the verb form
tend
show examples
 more relaxed. In
Correct your spelling
conclusion
conclussion
Correct your spelling
conclusion
, living in big
cities
 and being expected from the employer will definitely keeping
toll
Correct article usage
a toll
show examples
 physically and mentally. You'll be expected
moving
Change the verb form
to move
show examples
 and
working
Wrong verb form
work
show examples
 faster and more efficient in every
aspects
Change to a singular noun
aspect
show examples
 of your work. And you'll find yourself not able to enjoy the simplest things called
time
. Because employers
wanting
Wrong verb form
want
show examples
 more of your
time
 to be used for their
provit
Correct your spelling
profit
proven
.
Submitted by nit.not.miaw on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
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