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Band 5

Some people think that children should learn world history. Others believe that it is more important to learn the history of their own country. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

History
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 is one of the foundation subjects in every school in any
country
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. It has been an ongoing discussion,
whether
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about whether
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 to teach children more about what happened in the past all over the
world
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 or focus on the
history
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 of the
country
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 students live in. I believe that it is equally important to learn about both the
history
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 of
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world
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the world
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 and the homeland. Those who suggest that
world
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history
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 is more valuable have a point. It is general knowledge to remember the discovery of America or why, how, and when was European Union established.
Thus
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, it should be part of the principal education because understanding
about
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apply
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significant moments in
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world`s
Correct article usage
the world`s
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history
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 offers students details about different cultures, religions, traditions as well as foreign languages.
Such
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 understanding can
also
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 help people while working or travelling anywhere in the
world
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 as they might encounter citizens of various countries.
Although
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, I think that those who learn
world
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history
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 can benefit in the long-term,
yet
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apply
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the
history
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 of own
country
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 cannot be ignored. The local
history
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 is a pivotal phenomenon
of
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in
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 getting familiar with the surrounding.
Therefore
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, it is a natural process to learn about the motherland and its
history
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 for many. British pupils,
for example
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, are introduced to critical past events,
such
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 as how Britain achieved their independence and a dominant position in the
world
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 economy.
This
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 way, youth will gain respect as well as
admiration
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the admiration
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of
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for
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invaluable
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the invaluable
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 assets and freedom Britain have thanks to those who fought for
this
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country
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. I am convinced that the
history
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about
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of
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 the motherland should be taught at school as
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school-aged
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school aged
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school-aged
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 children are provided with
a detailed information
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detailed information
a piece of detailed information
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 about their own
history
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, culture and customs which is a piece of a bigger picture called
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world
Add an article
the world
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. To conclude, I believe that educating people about
the
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apply
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world
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history
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 is as crucial as teaching them about how their native
country
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 was established and developed. While general knowledge about
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world`s
Correct article usage
the world`s
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 historical moments can help people during their travels abroad, the knowledge of local
history
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 makes students cherish and
to
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apply
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be proud of their
country
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 and its key figures from the past.

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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