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Band 5

Some people claim that immigrants should adopt the local culture when immigrating to a new country. While others think that they can establish a minority community instead. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #immigrants #culture #country #minority #community
It is thought that
people
 who move to a new country should follow the
customs
 of the new place .But others say
,
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apply
show examples
 it is better that immigrants keep
their
Change the word
the
show examples
customs
 of
original
Correct pronoun usage
their original
show examples
 country. I agree with adopting in
new
Add an article
a new
the new
show examples
culture
. In
this
 essay, I will discuss both
approach
Change to a plural noun
approaches
show examples
 and
then
 expose my reasons. Some
people
 who argue that immigrants should absorb
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the national
culture
 of
country
Correct article usage
the country
show examples
 host believe that
firstly
, one of the main
problem
Change to a plural noun
problems
show examples
 for newcomers is finding a new job.
Therefore
, if they learn many
of
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apply
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common
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
 from native
people
, more job opportunities will be introduced to them, and they can have
better
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a better
show examples
relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
show examples
 with employers and customers.
In addition
, absorbing
in
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apply
show examples
customs
 can decrease the cultural dispute between different ethnic groups.
As a result
,
instead
 of
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the waste
a waste
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waste
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wasting
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 time
of
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apply
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argument
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arguments
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 about differences
of
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in
show examples
 their
culture
, they can focus on their job and education. On the other
hands
Fix the agreement mistake
hand
show examples
, other
people
 think that newcomers should form specific communities in order to
preservation
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the preservation
show examples
 of traditional
culture
 and national language. Because
,
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apply
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 they insist that adopting in local
culture
 can threaten
mother
Correct pronoun usage
their mother
show examples
 tongue.
Therefore
. It is possible that new generations will
forgot
Change the verb form
forget
show examples
 their ancestral traditions.
Moreover
,
customs
 and cultures
Correct your spelling
play
show examples
paly
Correct your spelling
play
show examples
 mail role in providing an inheritance for
future
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the future
show examples
generation
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generations
show examples
.
For example
, there are some temples in Canada where many
of
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apply
show examples
immigrants gather and perform their traditions. To sum up briefly,
although
 many
of
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apply
show examples
newcomers encounter
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
culture
 shock and prefer to have a
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 of nationality ,many of them are interested in absorbing
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
native
people
 and learn every
things
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thing
show examples
 rapidly .I think that those who accept all
aspect
Fix the agreement mistake
aspects
show examples
 of
new
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the new
show examples
 society will be more successful than others.
Submitted by TUTOO on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • adopt the local culture
  • integrate
  • social customs
  • mutual respect
  • cultural clashes
  • minority community
  • cultural diversity
  • emotional support
  • mental health
  • multicultural society
  • harmonious coexistence
  • heritage
  • social acceptance
  • cultural practices
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