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Band 5

Modern societies need specialists in certain fields, but not in others. Some people therefore think that governments should pay university fees for students who study subjects that are needed by society. Those who choose to study less relevant subjects should not receive government funding. Would the advantages of such an educational policy outweigh the disadvantages?

#societies #specialists #fields #people #governments #university #fees #students #study #subjects #society #government #policy
In modern societies, it is so common to employ
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
specialists in professional fields. Some people proposed the idea that government should pay the tuition fee for
students
 who study in the appointed department
that is
 needed by
society
. In my opinion, I consider
this
 suggestion is helpful not only for
society
 but the
students
.
Firstly
, the government responsible for the tuition as cultivating future specialists in our
society
, it will possibly make our countries better and more efficient.
Secondly
, the
students
 who live in poverty obtained more opportunities to study for free at the university, which accomplished equality of education and resulted in less burden on their families.
However
,
this
 suggestion may have some concerns.
First
 of all, some
students
 would probably select subjects they don't favour because of budgets.
Above
Change preposition
As
show examples
 mentioned, to cost down a fee of
university
Add an article
the university
show examples
 and reduce the burden
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 family, some
students
 would give up their favourite department, and
decided
Wrong verb form
decide
show examples
 to take a subject they don't like. It is very pitiful that people can't even choose what they love due to lack of money.
In addition
, some people might take
this
 advantage and work abroad when they got
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 degrees or certificates. It would cause a lot of burden
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 our
society
 and have nothing to contribute to our country, it may even grab
this
 chance from other
students
 who are urgently needed. In conclusion, I totally agree with the advice for studying free in relevant subjects because it would truly help some
students
 who
aren'tt
Correct your spelling
aren't
 available to afford the tuition in university
although
 it may have some disadvantages.
Submitted by dona32939 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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