Some people think that finding a job satisfaction is considered the most important thing for the young generation nowadays. Do you agree or disagree with this viewpoint?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The bar chart
illustrate
Change the verb form
illustrates

The plural verb illustrate does not appear to agree with the singular subject The bar chart. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

show examples
the
hoildays
Correct your spelling
holidays
holiday

If you don’t want hoildays to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

accommodation chosen by
Correct your spelling
people

If you don’t want peapole to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

peapole
Correct your spelling
people

If you don’t want peapole to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

who live in United
Kigdom
Correct your spelling
Kingdom

If you don’t want Kigdom to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

in 2010.
Genarally
Correct your spelling
Generally

If you don’t want Genarally to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

, Hotels are the
first
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

Correct your spelling
choice
Correct your spelling
choice

If you don’t want choise to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

choise
Correct your spelling
choice
for spending
Correct your spelling
holidays
Correct your spelling
holidays

If you don’t want hoildays to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

hoildays
Correct your spelling
holidays
for
Change preposition
in

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
the four countries (
England
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

,
Scotland
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

,
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
Walas
Correct your spelling
Wales

If you don’t want Walas to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

and
Northen
Correct your spelling
Northern

If you don’t want Northen to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

Irland. Whilst, self-catering comes in the
seconed
Correct your spelling
second

If you don’t want seconed to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

place after hotels. And which are considered as the less
poupuler
Correct your spelling
popular

If you don’t want poupuler to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

accommodation are caravans and camping. Hotels,
experint
Correct your spelling
experience
experiment

If you don’t want experint to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

high turnout by British. it's over 50% in each of
England
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and
Scotland
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

whereas around 45% in
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
Walas
Correct your spelling
Wales

If you don’t want Walas to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

and Ireland.
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

Add a comma
,

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase However. Consider adding a comma.

show examples
the
second
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

higher rate for self-catering is 30%
at
Change preposition
in

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
Scotland
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

Correct your spelling
followed
show examples
Correct your spelling
followed

The word fallowed doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
fallowed
Correct your spelling
followed
show examples
by
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
Walas
Correct your spelling
Wales

If you don’t want Walas to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

and
England
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

which is about 27%. With
regarding
Replace the word
regard

The word regarding doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
to
Remove the preposition
apply

The preposition to after regarding may be unnecessary. Consider removing the second preposition.

show examples
the remaining accommodation, Caravans are more popular in Ireland, where
it
Correct pronoun usage
they

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

show examples
reached 30%. while it's less popular in other
Correct your spelling
cities
citizen
site
Correct your spelling
cities
citizen
site

If you don’t want citize to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

citize
Correct your spelling
cities
. it's obvious that
Scotland
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

camping came into the
last
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

overall
citize
Correct your spelling
citizen

If you don’t want citize to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

by
roughly
Change the adverb
rough

It appears that the adverb roughly is attempting to modify the noun percentage. Consider replacing the adverb with an adjective.

show examples
percentage 5%
then
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

rate slightly increased in
England
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and Irland just above 10%. While
,
Remove the comma
apply

It appears that you have an unnecessary comma after the subordinating conjunction While. Consider removing the comma.

show examples
it
hitting
Change the form of the verb
hit

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb hitting. Consider changing it.

show examples
the highest point at
Walas
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

by rate nearly to 14%.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: