Many people believe that cigarette smoking has had a negative impact for far too long and the only solution to end it is to make cigarettes illegal worldwide. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Smoking

cigarettes

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is believed to have long-term detrimental effects on individuals and the community as a hold. Some

people

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have an opinion that the sole way to deal with

this

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problem is to prohibit the use of

tobacco

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globally. From my perspective, I partly agree with

this

Linking Words

statement as I argue there are advantages associated with

this

Linking Words

issue.

To begin

Linking Words

with, folks have the right to think that

cigarettes

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should be banned worldwide. Smoking is harmful to health as it leads to various health problems including lung cancer, which is the main cause of death in

smokers

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. It might take a long time to show symptoms, so

tobacco

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users hardly pay attention to it until

feeling

Wrong verb form

they feel

show examples

the pain.

For example

Linking Words

, about 7 million

people

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die because of smoking every year.

Moreover

Linking Words

, smoking

cigarettes

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not only negatively impacts

smokers

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but

also

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affects the surrounding

people

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in a dangerous way. These

people

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may suffer from the same health issues as

smokers

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Therefore

Linking Words

, it is said that

tobacco

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should be prohibited for the benefit of the community.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, the

tobacco

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industry plays an important role in contributing to the economy of one country. To explicate, governments can make a profit through the source of huge taxes on

cigarettes

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Also

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, thousands of

people

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work in cigarette-related industries and

this

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creates job opportunities. If smoking is banned completely, these

people

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will become unemployed and unable to earn money to afford their expenditures.

In addition

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, smoking may help to boost mood and enhance creativity

as well as

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imagination. Some

smokers

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even use

cigarettes

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as a way to concentrate on their work.

For instance

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, Uncle Ho, the Great President of Vietnam, used to be a heavy smoker to keep himself alert when he was young. In conclusion,

although

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smoking is detrimental in some aspects, it

would bring

Wrong verb form

brings

show examples

about various advantages.

Instead

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of banning smoking, governments should raise the awareness of residents of the dangers of

tobacco

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and impose more taxes on

cigarettes

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to limit their sales.

087obu0001Fri Aug 05 2022

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coherence and cohesion

Ensure that the introduction clearly states your position on the issue to avoid ambiguity.

coherence and cohesion

Support your main points with specific examples and evidence to strengthen your arguments.

task response

Provide a comprehensive response to the question by addressing both the advantages and disadvantages of prohibiting cigarettes globally.

coherence and cohesion

Ensure that your ideas are clearly presented and there is a clear link between sentences and paragraphs to enhance coherence.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

332 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

health hazards
cardiovascular diseases
addictive nature
perpetuating
second-hand smoke
respiratory problems
financial burden
healthcare systems
astronomical
prohibition
prevalence
underage smoking
black markets
control and safety regulations
education and awareness campaigns
smoking cessation programs
e-cigarettes
vaping
harm reduction
gateway effects

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