IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Many people believe that cigarette smoking has had a negative impact for far too long and the only solution to end it is to make cigarettes illegal worldwide. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #cigarette #impact #cigarettes
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Smoking
cigarettes
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 is believed to have long-term detrimental effects on individuals and the community as a hold. Some
people
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 have an opinion that the sole way to deal with
this
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 problem is to prohibit the use of
tobacco
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 globally. From my perspective, I partly agree with
this
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 statement as I argue there are advantages associated with
this
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 issue.
To begin
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 with, folks have the right to think that
cigarettes
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 should be banned worldwide. Smoking is harmful to health as it leads to various health problems including lung cancer, which is the main cause of death in
smokers
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. It might take a long time to show symptoms, so
tobacco
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 users hardly pay attention to it until
feeling
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they feel
show examples
 the pain.
For example
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, about 7 million
people
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 die because of smoking every year.
Moreover
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, smoking
cigarettes
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 not only negatively impacts
smokers
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 but
also
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 affects the surrounding
people
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 in a dangerous way. These
people
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 may suffer from the same health issues as
smokers
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.
Therefore
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, it is said that
tobacco
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 should be prohibited for the benefit of the community.
On the other hand
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, the
tobacco
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 industry plays an important role in contributing to the economy of one country. To explicate, governments can make a profit through the source of huge taxes on
cigarettes
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.
Also
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, thousands of
people
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 work in cigarette-related industries and
this
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 creates job opportunities. If smoking is banned completely, these
people
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 will become unemployed and unable to earn money to afford their expenditures.
In addition
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, smoking may help to boost mood and enhance creativity
as well as
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 imagination. Some
smokers
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 even use
cigarettes
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 as a way to concentrate on their work.
For instance
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, Uncle Ho, the Great President of Vietnam, used to be a heavy smoker to keep himself alert when he was young. In conclusion,
although
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 smoking is detrimental in some aspects, it
would bring
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brings
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 about various advantages.
Instead
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 of banning smoking, governments should raise the awareness of residents of the dangers of
tobacco
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 and impose more taxes on
cigarettes
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 to limit their sales.
Submitted by 087obu0001 on

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coherence and cohesion
Ensure that the introduction clearly states your position on the issue to avoid ambiguity.
coherence and cohesion
Support your main points with specific examples and evidence to strengthen your arguments.
task response
Provide a comprehensive response to the question by addressing both the advantages and disadvantages of prohibiting cigarettes globally.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that your ideas are clearly presented and there is a clear link between sentences and paragraphs to enhance coherence.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • health hazards
  • cardiovascular diseases
  • addictive nature
  • perpetuating
  • second-hand smoke
  • respiratory problems
  • financial burden
  • healthcare systems
  • astronomical
  • prohibition
  • prevalence
  • underage smoking
  • black markets
  • control and safety regulations
  • education and awareness campaigns
  • smoking cessation programs
  • e-cigarettes
  • vaping
  • harm reduction
  • gateway effects
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