IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people say that it is necessary to possess talent to become a successful sportsperson. Others, however, believe that hard work and practice are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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The given bar
chart
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 illustrates the number of men and
women
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 who attended several courses in the year 2009 at an adult education centre. The pie
chart
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 gives data about the ages of the participants.
also
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, both the bar
chart
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 and pie
chart
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 are based on a survey. Overall, most
women
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 attended the language
course
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, as you can see in the two charts majority of the
attendance
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 of courses goes to
women
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. While only a minority of men attended various courses compared to
women
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. The most attended
course
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 for both genders is language.
However
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,
women
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 took over the
attendance
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 by 40 females. Whereas, 20 males only attended the
course
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. As for the painting is the
second
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 most attended
course
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 the numbers are close to each other. The sculpture is the relatively smallest attended
course
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 by approximately 15
attendance
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 for both genders. For the pie
chart
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, most of the ages are 50 or over 42 per cent. As for the
second
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, by 26 per cent and 40-49 ages of
attendance
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 people.
then
Linking Words
 comes the mid-age people 30-39 by 16 per cent

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • natural talent
  • competitive advantage
  • innate ability
  • intuitive understanding
  • perform under pressure
  • early recognition
  • enhance skills
  • hone skills
  • rigorous training
  • dedication
  • perseverance
  • strong work ethic
  • relentless effort
  • consistent practice
  • long-term success
  • continuous improvement
  • resilience
What to do next:
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