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Band 3.5

Traffic and housing problems in major cities could be solved by moving large companies and factories and their employees to the countryside. To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

#traffic #cities #companies #factories #employees #countryside
In recent years,
traffic
 congestion and
house
Wrong verb form
housing
show examples
problems
 are becoming common issues in big
cities
 and some people think that the best way to solve some
problems
 in large
cities
 is to relocate large companies and factories to the rural area. From my point of view, I agree with
this
 statement.
Firstly
 , it is obvious that relocating all big enterprises to the rural areas can resolve all the matters regarding
traffic
. As you know, each large company has a myriad of staff members, they have to work and their children need to go to school on time. If a large company relocated their factory to
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 rural area , it would reduce the amount of
traffic
 congestion as well as accidents in the urban
cities
.
Besides
, moving large companies to the outskirts will help resolve the housing problem. Nowadays, there are a huge number of people who immigrate to big
cities
 to work.
As a result
, the demand for accommodation has become higher because of overpopulation.
Moreover
, building large factories accounted for a plethora of spaces which lead to
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of accommodation for city dwellers.
As a result
, they will not feel comfortable when going outside because of the crowd. in conclusion,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
relocating all large factories out of the city
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
 to the countryside is the needs to help people live in the city
reduce
Correct word choice
and reduce
show examples
 the
problems
 related to
traffic
jam
Fix the agreement mistake
jams
show examples
 and housing
problems
Submitted by phuongthao.3822 on

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    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
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    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
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    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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