Employers should give staff at least four weeks holidays a year to make employees better at their jobs. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Few masses ponder that communication techniques requirements like electronic gadgets by
nation
Replace the word
national
show examples
youth will have a daunting effect on their learning and writing materials. It would precipitate the spelling mistake.
Secondly
, it has hazardous health issues. I will agree with the notion and I will share my views in the upcoming fragments. To commence with, in the modern era
use
of electronic applications would dramatically increase
due to
the modern lifestyle and most generations would like to
use
them. To elaborate
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
, when
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
youngsters
use
mobile and computers as gadgets
then
they do not have extra time to spend on them so they
use
easy and small words.
For example
, the latest data by Wilson
harry
Capitalize word
Harry
show examples
, who is a master of technology shares that less than 85% of the nation's youth
use
short abbreviations like thnx and bcoz during times of chat and they have many
words
Change the noun form
word
show examples
mistakes. Which will decrease their language proficiencies.
Thus
, the upcoming ability to learn and write would not be neglected.
Furthermore
, the gadget era depends on the latest products like cell phones and electronic machines and they have very bad consequences on their lifestyle. To explicate it, when they
use
the upcoming appliances the rays and light produced by them have a very dangerous influence on human beings because they depend upon them.
For instance
, as per the” American Eyes and Heart Association,” 89% of young people have low eyesight and coronary heart-like diseases.
Thus
, they should be used systematically because “health is wealth”.
To conclude
this
, the dependency on the phone and computers should be avoided. Yet they will
use
only
Correct pronoun usage
it only
show examples
in
that
Correct determiner usage
those
show examples
conditions when they are very urgent.
Submitted by workhasdone on

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task achievement
Work on providing a more comprehensive response to the question. Make sure to directly address the need for at least four weeks of holidays for better job performance, as was asked in the topic.
coherence cohesion
Improve coherence by ensuring that each paragraph focuses on a single clear idea that connects logically to your main argument.
coherence cohesion
You provided a clear structure with an introduction and conclusion, which helps in the organization of your essay.
task achievement
The discussion on the negative impact of gadgets is relevant and offers a view on modern challenges faced by young people.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • productivity
  • rejuvenate
  • efficiency
  • mental health
  • burnout
  • stress
  • well-being
  • creativity
  • innovation
  • job satisfaction
  • employee retention
  • turnover rates
  • physical health
  • sick leave
  • work-life balance
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