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Band 5

Successful sports professionals xan earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#sports #professionals #xan #money #people #professions
Successful sports experts can get a massive deal more money than professionals in other
necessity
Replace the word
necessary
show examples
 occupations. While several individuals think
this
 is completely supportable,
however
Add the comma(s)
,however
show examples
 others have
different
Add an article
a different
show examples
 idea
that is
 not fair. In
this
essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 want to argue both these sights and it seems to be justified that the idea of
skillful
Change the spelling
skilful
show examples
 players should get great contracts because entertainment is substantial for governments and people who
following
Wrong verb form
follow
show examples
 the specific sports. On the one hand, there
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 various types of jobs which needed skilled workers and
stuffs
Change the wording
stuff
kinds of stuff
pieces of stuff
show examples
,
furthermore
,
this
Change the determiner
these
show examples
 individuals have
normal
Add an article
a normal
show examples
 life with ordinary salary and they have to attempt to get
occupation
Correct article usage
an occupation
show examples
 among others and get experienced to have been improved in their positions,
although
 these persons mostly are not following their childhood-dreams and they just willing to be a normal man, in opposite other folks with big dreams are in hardship circumstances and take a tremendous risk for a bright future which is approximately
imposible
Correct your spelling
impossible
,
moreover
Add a comma
,moreover
show examples
this people
Change the determiner
this person
these people
show examples
 can get lucrative agreement what is not available for whose rely on odds.
Nevertheless
, professionals in sports can comfortably be wealthy when they are well-known
however
 before they
getting
Wrong verb form
get
show examples
 that reputation they had to
worked
Change the form of the verb
work
show examples
 extremely on their purposes and not going to be distracted by distractions like movies, parties and social media etc.
therefore
 regarding
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
their situations,
for
instance
Add the comma(s)
,instance
show examples
 the famous footballer Christiano Ronaldo who is always traning hardly to be fit for
next
 match so nobody wanted to be like them and
hard working
Add a hyphen
hard-working
show examples
 all-day
thus
 these rich people are worthy to be. To conclude,
this
Change the determiner
these
show examples
 major wages are totally convenient to these experts because they do what anyone else can not.
Submitted by tr.zarwaihnin on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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