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Writing Samples
Band 6

In the future, there will be a higher proportion of older people than young people in many countries. Is it a positive or negative development?

#future #proportion #people #countries #development
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The phenomenon of an
increasing
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increasingly
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 large number of elderly
people
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 appears to be one that receives much attention. It is speculated that in the foreseeable future, the percentage of older
people
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 will account for more than that of youngsters in several nations. In my opinion, the rapid increase of the older population may result in a myriad of issues. To commence with, if the world population were to get older, there could emerge a predicament, which is
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a labor
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labor
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labour
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 shortage. Due to the obvious fact that the body condition of older individuals does not allow them to endure demanding tasks, industries have to rely on workers who are superior in strength to handle the manual work. As a consequence, when more members of society belong to the older age group, corporations will likely experience great difficulty in recruiting suitable employees.
This
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 may lead to a decline in productivity of several businesses, directly damaging the economy as a whole.
Furthermore
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, elders are significantly more fragile compared to those who are of the younger generation, evidenced by the fact that when
people
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 become older, their health system begins to degrade, resulting in the vulnerability to illness and diseases that can be witnessed in a multitude of elderly
people
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.
This
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,
consequently
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, produces a plethora of problems for the healthcare system.
For instance
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, the expense required to support and treat senior patients is considerably high, especially when health facilities have to renovate and innovate their equipment in order to meet the demand of those patients.
Additionally
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, there is a likelihood that
this
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 trend will cause hospitals to be overcrowded, which may bring detrimental consequences for the patients as well as the staff of hospitals. In conclusion, if the population of nations continues to age rapidly, there may be outcomes that are hazardous to the economy alongside the healthcare system.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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